Sydney mum's shock at stranger's 'rude' comment about disabled son
Tori Boyadji said her heart broke after hearing the woman's remarks about two-year-old Isaac who has Down syndrome.
When mum Tori Boyadji and her friend Lyndal were stopped by a stranger at a Sydney park last week, she didn't think much of it. But a comment made about their children who have Down syndrome left the mothers in disbelief.
"Ohh is this a little downsie" the woman said, according to 28-year-old Ms Boyadji, mother of two-year-old Isaac, before claiming she'd "never want a kid with Down syndrome" herself.
While shocking, the language used isn't the problem, said Rhonda Faragher, Associate Professor of Inclusion and Diversity at Queensland University. The interaction is proof that society's attitude toward people with Down syndrome needs to change, she told Yahoo News Australia
"In my view, it's not the language itself, it's what's behind the language," she explained. "That somebody in the community would feel [a child with Down Syndrome] would not be a child they'd like to have in their family without even knowing the child."
"I think it's [disappointing] that other people don't understand that this is not a tragedy," she added. "Having a person with Down syndrome in your family, in your life, is actually a terrific blessing."
The interaction at Collaroy Park in Sydney's north last Wednesday morning didn't sit well with Ms Boyadji who told the Daily Telegraph the woman's words "broke [her] heart". "Lyndal and I just looked at each other in disbelief – I’m not easily offended but this comment truly broke my heart," she said. "Why would you say that to two mums with their adorable kids right there?"
Calls for society to change views on people with Down syndrome
The 28-year-old told the publication that Isaac is just like any other toddler. He loves the Wiggles and going to the beach. "He also happens to have Down syndrome — but this is the least interesting part of him," she said.
Associate Professor Faragher, also Director of the Down Syndrome Research Program, said it's often hard to know the correct language to use unless you're part of the Down syndrome community and agreed that people with Down syndrome "often live full and rich lives" and a lot of the "disabling aspects" come from society rather than the condition itself.
"The previous things that made people's lives less than what we would want for our own children are not there anymore (such as limited access to employment)," she said. "And so we can expect that people with Down syndrome will have a rich quality of life so long as social inclusion and society attitudes are up to date with really what life can be like".
The best thing individuals can do to better understand the disability is to try and engage with people with Down syndrome. "There are lots of community activities that include people, but I think it starts a lot earlier, I think it starts with inclusive schooling."
"We just need to just get that message out," the professor said. "Having an understanding of being open, being open to the sense that humanity is diverse."
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