Prince Harry was only 12 years old when his mother died, and while the rest of the world was mourning the tragic loss of Princess Diana, the young royal was struggling to cope with his own emotions.
“The first time I cried was at the funeral… and only since then maybe once,” Harry said in an intimate documentary aired on Sunday Night tonight.
“People deal with grief in different ways, and my way of dealing with it was by just basically shutting it out, locking it out.”
On August 31, 1997, Diana was killed in a car crash in the Pont de l’Alma tunnel in Paris, France.
It has taken two decades for her sons to speak publicly about her death.
“Losing someone so close to you is utterly devastating, especially at that age,” William said.
“There’s nothing like it in the world. There really isn’t. It’s like an earthquake’s just run through the house and your life and everything. Your mind is completely split.
“And it took me a while for it to sink in.”
While hundreds of thousands of people were laying flowers at the gates of Kensington Palace, the brothers, then aged 15 and 12, were within palace walls unsure of how to deal with the loss of their mother.
“Family came together and Harry and I tried to talk the best we could about it, but being so small at that age, it’s very difficult to communicate or understand your feelings… it’s very complicated,” William said.
“It was very, very strange after her death, you know, the sort of outpouring of love and emotion from so many people that had never even met her,” Harry added.
“I was thinking to myself, how is it that so many people that never met this woman, my mother, can be crying and showing more emotion that I actually am feeling?”
As the boys have grown, they’ve taken it upon themselves to continue their mother’s charity work.
William regularly spends time with the homeless, while Harry is taking on Diana’s campaign to rid the world of land mines.
“I think she would be proud that Harry and I have managed to come through everything that’s happened,” William said.
“We felt incredibly loved, Harry and I, and I’m very grateful that love still feels there, even 20 years on. And I think that’s a huge credit to her, that I can still feel that now.”