I Quit Dating For All Of 2019, And It Was The Most Productive And Successful Year Of My Life
“Are you upset?” he asked.
Honestly, I was.
I was on a three-person date with a handsome Argentine whom I had been tasting Buenos Aires with for one wonderful month. Sure, I’d been forewarned that his ‘friend’ Valentina was coming along that night to finally make my acquaintance. I’d been told that her motivations lay in practicing her English with a tea-loving Brit. In reality, it was a ruse to orchestrate a threesome. That very moment, I decided I was done with dating.
‘Man drought,’ ‘dating diet’ or ‘self-imposed celibacy’; whatever you choose to call it, I was going to say yes to #NoMan2019.
In fact, a trio of factors led me down this dry path. It dawned on me that I had invested so much time chasing the highs of dating that I failed to realise the heart-twisting terror that it actually caused me: assaults on the self-esteem, anxiety, drained energy and hours wasted in the throes of sorrow when things didn’t pan out.
The year before, I’d been deserted in the cruellest fashion by a partner of six months. From one day to the next, he simply never spoke to me again. The thing about ghosting is that it’s tricky to get closure because you’re not really sure why, what or when to grieve.
My inability to locate Prince Charming somehow meant I’d failed – a lifestyle narrative that still plagues many women
Secondly, I had never truly been single. To be frank, searching for a man who was willing to promise forever was my preferred pastime. Despite my success professionally and with platonic relationships, my inability to locate Prince Charming somehow meant I’d failed – a lifestyle narrative that still plagues many women.
As such, I was always somewhere in the dating life cycle: in the heat of passion, recovery or hunting once more for those dizzy, eclectic times. Each relationship was effectively a rebound, as I never gave myself time to heal or self-reflect. Without carving out crucial breathing space, I’d keep wearing the...
