Michelle Ackerley: Grief Reared Its Head Again In The Pandemic
In What Works For Me – a series of articles considering how we can find balance in our lives – we talk to celebrities about wellbeing and self-care.
It’s been two years since Michelle Ackerley received a call from her father’s hospice to say he’d died during the night, but The One Show presenter says the global pandemic has renewed her grief.
“It feels like the grief has reared its head again, because a lot of us have got more time to reflect on things,” says Michelle, who recently joined the Loose Women panel. ”I think people assume at two years you’ll be over it and back to normal, when actually, grief can come in so many different waves. I personally feel like I’ve found it harder recently.”
Michelle’s dad, Marcus, was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in summer 2017. He died in March 2018.
The diagnosis came as a huge shock to the family. “I remember us being taken into this really lovely room in the hospital with calming wallpaper, soft furnishings, beautiful pictures on the walls and a box of tissues on the table,” says Michelle. “I suddenly felt cold and thought: ‘This is serious.’”
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The news floored Michelle, who says she experienced shock, sadness and anger all at once. “It was so much information to take in, I just went a bit numb,” she recalls. “It’s like a computer programme in your brain that just doesn’t work when you’re feeling so many emotions. I remember walking out of the room and I broke down in the corridor.”
Michelle had two tactics for looking after her mental health while her father received treatment to prolong his life: stay practical and stay present.
She busied herself by learning everything possible about chemotherapy –speaking to doctors about how her dad was likely to feel after each round...
