I Knew Uni Would Be Different. But I Wasn’t Prepared For This

I start my final, most important, year of university in one week. I still have no timetable, and I don’t know what modules I’m doing. And, quite frankly, I’m worried about returning at all.

When I started university two years ago, I quickly grew to love the lifestyle. I mean, what isn’t there to love? The freedom of living on your own, discovering your identity, being able to live and work around your friends... I can confidently say university has been the greatest experience of my life.

But I can confidently say this upcoming year will be different. Much different.

Moving in isn’t something I ever particularly look forward to, and this year, with the vast majority of my first term classes moved online, there’s the question of is it even worth it. Staying at home in London was out of the question, as I can’t afford to be paying rent for a house that isn’t being lived in.

But the thought of learning online scares me too. I like learning through interaction, and find face-to-face conversation a real asset towards my understanding. I fear that spending more time on my laptop than with other human beings will stem a raging hate for the forms of media I rely upon for entertainment. I’m starting to question whether these conditions will impact my chances of getting a degree that truly reflects my ability – an unsettling thought to have towards something as usually reliable as education, especially when you’re paying so much for it.

I’d love to tell myself something – anything – reassuring, but I can’t. Because I have absolutely no idea what I’m walking into. I can’t use the library facility unless I compete for atime slot in advance, yet if I stay at home and have bad wifi, I won’t be able to access any of my work (the ambiance of a student home certainly wouldn’t help either). There is no right thing to do.

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