25 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (Oct. 13–26)
Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between.
And somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humour in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in 280 characters or fewer.
Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous two weeks. Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement.
Forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me and I’m not sure if I should go home or disappear and start a new life.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 21, 2020
1.
Me: *turns on faucet*
Husband: *starts talking*
Me: *turns it off* What?
Husband: *says nothing*
Me: *turns on the garbage disposal*
Husband: *starts talking*
Me: *turns it off* What?
Husband: *says nothing*
Repeat forever.— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) October 17, 2020
2.
Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life.
— Lil BOO 🌈 (@LizerReal) October 16, 2020
3.
Wife: What the hell are you doing?
Me [ironing bathrobe]: getting my work clothes ready— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 20, 2020
4.
My husband thought I was flirting.
I don’t have the heart to tell him that I was just licking the salsa that had fallen between my fingers— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 20, 2020
5.
Him: Do you sleep with a fan?
Me: I'd say my wife mostly likes me, but fan is pushing it— The Dad (@thedad) October 17, 2020
6.
My husband commenting on my lockdown hair:
“I think you look like a 40 something year old Italian business man..”
I’m 32.
In other news, the funeral of my late husband will be held next week.— Steve 🏳️🌈 (@papaneedscoffee) October 23, 2020