'Not listening, browsing Facebook': Dad writes harsh resume for teen daughter
A doting dad with a cheeky sense of humour has written a hilarious resume for his 16-year-old daughter.
Lauren Guest, from Middlesborough in the UK, posted a picture of the harsh but funny CV to her Twitter account with the caption: “Remind me not to let my dad do my CV for me.”
Dad Ian Guest starts his daughter’s resume innocently enough with her contact details.
Then, under the heading Education and Qualifications – Predicted Grades, he writes Finance – FAIL and French – FAIL.
Running through her work experience, he writes: “Office assistant, Ian Guest’s Mortgage Advice Service. Responsibilities & Duties: Getting on my father’s t**s. Not listening. Browsing Facebook. Losing all documentation. Giving out all client’s information to fraudsters.”
Her previous job, “Voluntary gardening,” includes such duties as: “Digging holes looking for gold,” “Chopping colleagues’ toes off with the spade” and “Being messy.”
On page two, he lists his daughter’s Skills & Personal Qualities as, to quote just a few, “lazy, late, reluctant, hate(s) people, don’t do mornings, typical 16-year-old.”
Finally he lists a naughtily-named “probation officer” as her referee.
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The Twitter post has been liked more than 650 times and re-Tweeted more than 100 times.
“I’M SCREAMING,” one person wrote.
“Trying to get on my good side by being unfunny, the weirdo,” Lauren responded.
There’s no word yet on whether Lauren has a job.
