25 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (Feb. 11-24)
Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between.
And somehow the husbands and wives of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in 280 characters or less.
Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement.
1
Wife: What movie do you want to watch tonight?
Me: Whatever will keep you awake past the opening credits.
Wife: That movie doesn't exist.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 23, 2020
2
Me: Can you go to the store?
Husband: Sure.
Me: *gives him a grocery list*
Husband: *forgets several items*
Me: Did you look at the list?
Husband: No, I forgot.
(Repeats weekly)— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) February 18, 2020
3
After seventeen years, today is the day I finally tell my wife she’s been folding our bathroom towels wrong.
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) February 15, 2020
4
Marriage:
I love you but you’re out of your fucking mind— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) February 17, 2020
5
70% of marriage is yelling “what” from a different room.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 11, 2020
6
Wife’s traveling for work, so I’ve set an alarm for 1AM, to yell at myself for using her pillow
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 19, 2020
7
Reasons I married a woman:
I can’t multitask for shit and someone in my life had to.— Lezz Mom (@lezzimomof2) February 22, 2020
8
There is no way to place my wife’s coffee order at Starbucks without feeling like I need to apologize afterwards.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 22, 2020
9
Tell me how tired you are so I can upstage you and tell you how much more tired I am.
-marriage— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 14, 2020