Why Some Happy Couples Choose To Sleep In Separate Bedrooms
James* has been married for two decades, but it wasn’t until a couple years ago that he and his wife started sleeping in different rooms.
″[My wife] would constantly kick me awake to stop my snoring, then we would try to race each other back to sleep. Doing this 20 times a night meant no one was getting any decent sleep,” he told HuffPost.
It may not be the traditional setup, but it works for them.
“We have had a couple of friends say how they could never do this — it’s against what marriage is about,” James said. “But let me tell you: Marriage is a lot better when everyone’s well-rested and not grumpy.”
Not much research exists about couples who sleep apart at night. A 2005 National Sleep Foundation report found that 23% of couples opt for separate beds, although one 2017 survey put that number at 14%.
Many people attach a stigma to this less conventional sleeping arrangement and assume it’s a sign that a relationship is on the rocks. While some couples may sleep separately because of marital discord, it’s often for a more practical reason like James and his wife: They just want a good night’s sleep. Maybe one partner snores and the other is a light sleeper. Maybe they have different bedtimes and wake-up times. Perhaps one needs air conditioning or a fan blowing year-round, while the other is perpetually cold.
Whatever the reason, these issues can get in the way of quality shut-eye — and that’s not good for either partner.
Sleeping apart has its benefits.
Getting good sleep on a regular basis is good for your mental and physical health, as well as the health of your relationship.
When you’re well-rested, you are generally a more patient, pleasant and loving version of yourself. When you’re exhausted, you’re more likely to wake up cranky and combative.
A 2013 study from the University of California, Berkeley, confirmed what anyone in a relationship knows to be true: that couples tend to have more frequent and more...
