Shoot the breeze in paradise
Talcum-powder-soft sand, the warm turquoise sea gently lapping and a storybook perfect beach bar called Jack's Shack, with lobster and conch sizzling on the barbie. This may be the most perfect beach day ever - in fact, I'll still be drooling about it months later.
I'm on Grand Turk, partway through a Caribbean cruise onboard the P&O ship Ventura. Having flown into Bridgetown in Barbados and boarded the ship, we've called at St Vincent, Dominica, St Lucia, Antigua and St Kitts, and will continue on from Grand Turk to Tortola and St Maarten before returning to Barbados.
This is my first big-ship cruise and Ventura is vast, with up to 3200 mostly British passengers. It's a family-oriented ship - classy but not in the least snobby. The six silver-service dining restaurants are complemented by three buffet restaurants plus a pizzeria and fast food outlets - if you can find it in a city, you can find it aboard Ventura. There are almost as many bars as restaurants, from elegant cocktail lounges to a classic British pub called the Exchange, and it's a pleasant surprise to find no overcharging for drinks, which are priced at home-port prices.
As well as a large theatre, cinema, nightclub, casino and plenty of shops, there are four swimming pools. For night owls, one of the buffet restaurants is open throughout the night. Life aboard seems so good to some passengers that they never leave the ship.
The experience gets better as the cruise progresses and we get lost less frequently in what is essentially a small town, with miles of corridors. Catering for so many passengers, the quality and presentation of food is amazing. The main dining rooms manage to create an intimate atmosphere and there is always a table for two when requested.
Seven hundred islands and islets make up the Caribbean archipelago, which forms an arc from the southern coast of Florida to the northern coast of Venezuela. The history of the region is complex, with the early Amerindian tribes which settled some islands later being invaded and replaced by Carib Indians from South America.
Misnamed the West Indies in 1492 by the geographically disorientated Christopher Columbus, the area rapidly became a battleground for European colonial powers - a mix of Spanish, British, French and Dutch - which brought African slaves to work their plantations.
The European colonial legacy, in terms of language, traditions and cultural influences, can still be seen on different islands, as can the modern quasi-colonial influences of their super-power neighbour - the US.
In Barbados, where our cruise begins, the influence of the English - who arrived in the 1620s - is still very much in evidence. Approximately 180,000 arrived last year by air and another 98,000 stopped off as part of a cruise itinerary. The high street of the capital, Bridgetown, could have been transplanted from any English town centre, but there's also a ramshackle market more typical of an African township. For an hour, the entire town centre grinds to a halt as a couple of hundred flag-waving enthusiasts dance down the street singing for Jesus.
It's not easy to categorise the islands, but there are similarities - rum punch, reggae, great seafood and cricket grounds. Some are volcanic and others flat coral atolls; some have a prosperous air and others seem poverty-stricken. One overarching feature of island life seems to be liming - the Caribbean art of doing nothing other than chatting with your mates.
Few, if any, of the island capitals hold many charms, we find. Roseau, the main city on Dominica, is grim, more like an overgrown village than a capital. The beaches seem pretty poor but mountainous Dominica does have some of the best rainforest and the largest surviving population of Carib Indians.
St Lucia, by comparison, has everything a tourist could want: it's prosperous, with posh resorts, gorgeous beaches and lush tropical rainforest. It has become the Caribbean's wedding capital and two of the passengers on our cruise get married here.
At St Kitts, deciding I need to see more than just its beaches, I take a taxi tour around the island. It looks prosperous, with some massive multimillion-dollar properties, a new international airport and plenty of decent social housing. Driving through the rainforest, we come across the crumbling ruins of an old rum distillery that bears more than a passing resemblance to Angkor Wat in Cambodia.
But it's hard to keep away from the beach and when we discover the Shipwreck Beach Bar and Grill on South Friars Bay, looking like it has been made from driftwood, we just have to stay a bit longer.
Cane Garden Bay on the British Virgin Island of Tortola is probably a beautiful beach but it is packed from end to end when we visit.
A 10-minute drive south takes us to the glorious beach at Long Bay, with more diving pelicans than sunbathers in attendance.
The island of St Maarten/St Martin is, strangely, half Dutch and half French. Modern, urbanised and cosmopolitan, it has the most horrendous traffic jams sprawling for miles beyond Philipsburg, the capital.
Cruising is by far the easiest way to get a taste of several of the Caribbean islands, with their stunning beaches, amazing rainforest, iconic music, world-class diving and fascinating history.
My one gripe is that I had to depart from some islands far too soon.
