Transcript: Charlotte's last interview

Sunday May 11, 2014

Reporter: PJ Madam

Producer: Erin Reimer

CHRIS BATH: Hello and welcome to this special edition of Sunday Night. I'm Chris Bath. Charlotte Dawson was feisty and fragile. The supermodel then TV star was much loved, yet became a target for vicious cyber bullies. She fought back and spoke out because Charlotte was tough but she was also brittle.

And as you'll learn, she became a victim of blackmail. Until now, the events leading up to her death have been shrouded in mystery but tonight, in her own words, all is revealed.

Here's PJ Madam with Charlotte's secret last interview. And a warning, parts of this report contain strong language

PJ MADAM: The beginning of her model career,

VICKY: so stunning in that, just gorgeous.

PJ MADAM: A week after she was born to an unmarried teenage mother in 1966, Charlotte was adopted by New Zealand couple Richard and Jose Dawson.

VICKY: I can remember Mum coming down off the plane in Palmerston. She had a fur hat on and this beautiful bundle in her arms. We were so excited. She was just so beautiful, she had a head of gorgeous curly dark hair and it was one of the best moments of my life.

PJ MADAM: So she had braces then?

VICKY: She must have had braces then. She would have been 12, I think.

PJ MADAM: The Dawsons already had two daughters - Robyn and Vicky. Vicky, do you remember if Charlotte being adopted was an issue for her?

VICKY: No, it was never an issue, never an issue. She was just one of us. It didn't matter that someone else had actually borne her, she was our sister.

PJ MADAM: So she was very loved. She had a happy childhood...

VICKY: Very happy childhood, yeah.

PJ MADAM: But she also went through something that many people don't experience.

VICKY: Yes, she was molested, sexually molested, by a neighbour when she was very young. I'm sure it affected her feeling of self-worth. She felt if someone could do that to her when she was a child, maybe she wasn't worthy of anything and maybe she thought it was her fault so I think it made things very difficult for her later in life with relationships. But I saw quite a lot of her at that age and she was just a normal, happy, naughty teenager at that stage.

PJ MADAM: Charlotte was 15, had left school and was working as a secretary but it was here at this bar where she was discovered by a modeling agent. It was a meeting that would change her life. And within a year, she had swapped Auckland for Milan.

PJ MADAM: Do you remember the first time that you met her?

ALEX PERRY: Absolutely. It was before I was a designer and I worked at Chadwick Model Management and Charlotte had just come back from New York and was just one of those times where you met somebody, instant "I like you. We're going to be really great friends."

CHARLOTTE (CLIP): Anyone wonder why you've got sunglasses on your head 'cause that's what is keeping the rocks inside it? Seriously holding it all together.

ALEX PERRY: She could say anything to me. She loved me like a brother. I loved her like she was part of my family.

PJ MADAM: Can I get you to take a look at these?

Yep. Yeah. I look at these all the time. I look at this one - and that was when she was in Bali before she... ..not long before she died and there was, like, a peace and tranquillity about her here.

CHARLOTTE: How's the serenity? Oh, yes, the serenity. Well, this where I come to retreat. Bali is just a wonderful place for me. Everything about it, I love. Give up. I give up, I surrender. Got him!

CHARLOTTE: When I split up from my husband, ooh, 14 years ago, that was the first time I came and I stayed for a few months, from memory. If I've ever had problems or my anxiety hits, my depression hits, any challenges that I have in my life, I come here to heal.

If you manage to get Mr Ripper off Horace and get him to the pool, he does this magnificent Hory the dog leap. It's like a wonder dog. You want to see it? Yep. OK, rightio!

BILLY ALLEN: For me, Charlotte wouldn't have been Charlotte without her dramas. Her highs and lows were usually extreme and for some people, life's like that. It certainly was for Charlotte.

PJ MADAM: Billy Allen was one of Charlotte's closest friends and whenever she needed to escape, she was always welcome at his Balinese villa. January this year was such a time.

BILLY ALLEN: She was almost childlike when she was in Bali - she'd jump in and out of the pool and she was really close to my dog, Horace. She, um...didn't have a care in the world when she was there. It was kind of like that.

PJ MADAM: What reason did she give you for coming to Bali the last time? Um... Her words were she needed to get out of Sydney. Charlotte was at a crossroads, personally and professionally.

CHARLOTTE: I find it very hard when I am back in Australia to separate the Charlotte Dawson that everyone thinks they know to the Charlotte Dawson that I know who I really am and the person that does need a lot of TLC from herself. And that's what I... This is what I have to do. I have to love myself. I don't have a partner, I don't have my mother or father, I don't have any family in Australia, I don't have anything, you know, I'm just me. So I don't have that shoulder to cry on at night. I don't have someone I can talk to, except for therapists.

VICKY: I have had that conversation lots of times with her. Yep. What that is... Charlotte had an incredibly public break-up with Scott Miller. How that panned out, the fact that she... ..always wanted to be a mother and she aborted a child because she felt pressured to do that because it wasn't the right time for his career, that was a turning point in Charlotte's life. And I think that she beat herself up for the rest of her life because she wanted to have that child.

PJ MADAM: Charlotte married Olympic swim star Scott Miller in 1999.

VICKY: Charlotte made a stunning bride, as you can imagine.

PJ MADAM: It must have been a shock six months later when you heard the news.

VICKY: Yes, it was, it was terrible but it wasn't just the shock for me, it was a huge shock for Charlotte. He'd been unfaithful and she just couldn't get past it and they had made that decision to have a baby aborted because that was their future. And I think it just absolutely broke her heart and I think that was the start of a major part of her depression.

ALEX PERRY: Everything that she worked for and put into it, all of a sudden vanished. I mean, just think about that. Those things that we value - your marriage or your relationship, the roof over your head, the child that you want to have. I can't think of three bigger things in life than that - gone. She said to me that he was the love of her life. But he was also, from what she's told me and what I saw, one of the most destructive forces in her life.

ROBIN: Because she was married to Scott Miller, who was an Australian hero, he then was interviewed in a magazine and said that Charlotte had ruined his chances of being successful. And as a result of that, Charlotte lost all of her work. She lost her job, nobody would touch her, and that was major.

CHARLOTTE: I went back to New Zealand for five years. Hopefully, people would just forget that I was the dreadful woman that destroyed the swimmer's Olympic chances, because that's basically what he said. Um, so escaping was... Escaping was something that I had to do. There was a lot of sadness and darkness around that time so I had to cleanse all of that away from me as well.

PJ MADAM: Her five years spent here in New Zealand weren't just to recover - they were to restart her life. She began hosting a panel series, wrote a book, filmed a documentary and became a travel reporter. Her career was booming and Australia wanted her back.

CHARLOTTE: Hey. I'm Charlotte Dawson. I will do my very best to host this night - if I don't pass out in this Alex Perry corset - and what a night it is!

PJ MADAM: So she was a fighter?

ALEX PERRY: Totally. Rise like the phoenix, come back, you know, do it all again. TV PROMO: And a model expert like no other...

CHARLOTTE: I'm approaching 50. Um, in the media, it's quite cruel because you cannot put on weight and you cannot age. You also can't have cosmetic surgery or admit to using Botox because you should be ashamed. Um, I've bucked all those trends. Yes, it's probably cost me some really lucrative deals with skincare companies but I'd rather just be honest, you know? And that's my whole thing, is transparency and honesty.

ALEX PERRY: We both used to have Botox and we'd both go... Sometimes we'd had it done and it was, like, I'd say to her, "Have I gone too far? "Is this like... ?" And it was. We look back at pictures of ourselves and we go, "Oh, remember then? "Yeah, OK, we need to, like, pull back on how many mils we got."

And by the same token, if I'd... I hadn't had any for, like, 1.5 years and we did something and I raised my eyebrows and she goes, "What the... (BLEEP!) is going on with your face? It was pretty mean. And she goes, "You just moved it." Do you know what I mean? So we'd laugh. We'd experiment, try a filler, try this, try that, not a problem talking about it.

MADDI HEWITT: The first time I met Charlotte was at the Top Model audition in Melbourne... I have seen my first victim right here. ..and she was like, "Take that thing out of your nose, "and take that thing out of your mouth." It's not Mardi Gras. What are you doing?! And she got up on stage and grabbed the microphone and was like, "If any of you scrags have tongue rings in, "take them out right now before you come up on stage."

PJ MADAM: On Next Top Model, Charlotte struck up a friendship with Maddi Hewitt and Simone Hufnagel.

SIMONDE HUFFNAGEL: You know, when you just meet someone and you know that they're going to be part of your life forever.

PJ MADAM: When the show finished, she took them under her wing. If they were ever in town, they could always stay at her place.

SIMONE: Like, Maddi and I knew how much she wanted a baby and I think that is why she was the way she was with Maddi and I because we kind of helped fill that void for her, if only for a little bit. She was old enough to be our mum, obviously, but she treated Maddi and I like we were the daughters she never had.

PJ MADAM: While on Next Top Model, Charlotte became a target for trolls who would launch vile personal attacks on Twitter. She took them on but they took their toll on her.

CHARLOTTE: Just because I'm on television, just because I've got some sort of a profile, it doesn't mean that I'm immune to being hurt. I was always judged, often quite viciously, via social media. Then I had what's now, unfortunately, a very common thing happen where people start to target you and want to kill you. I thought there was manners involved, I thought there was an etiquette involved but there's not and it's a real problem and people are killing themselves because of it.

I just didn't think that people would be so evil behind a keyboard. And so, I was really surprised when I went and faced some of my tormentors, how different they were. They certainly won't say it to your face.

VICKY: It had a huge effect on her. She rang me one night after they'd said these terrible things and I had to send an ambulance to her place 'cause I thought she was going to kill herself. And if she'd only been able to stop looking at these messages. But unfortunately, she had an addictive personality and she was addicted to social media.

CHARLOTTE: Look, I have very intermittent Wi-Fi here, so I am not... ..I don't have to wake up to abuse every morning.

ALEX PERRY: Really, on a human level, do you say to somebody, "You fat f--k, got no talent, go kill yourself. "You're a hypochondriac, a drama queen and a f--g moron. "Please do the world a favour and go and hang yourself." Who says that? What kind of, like... That's human filth. Those people, that you as a human being think that it's OK to type that directly to another person, I think you are a piece of shit. And I am not bullying you, I am just telling you that I think you are a piece of shit.

CHARLOTTE: I'm looking down the barrel of an unemployment gun and the bullet's gone off.

ALEX PERRY: I have to remember the amazing things. She looked so beautiful. She did. She had the most beautiful smile on her face. She was a beautiful, bright, shining girl.
Last time I saw her was 2.5 weeks before she died, 3 weeks maybe. And then we'd spoken on the phone after that but nothing that I recall as... Just like, "Hi, what are you doing? You're an idiot." Have a laugh.

PJ MADAM: And that was your last conversation with her?

ALEX PERRY: Yeah. And I don't even remember it... enough. I didn't think it was going to be the last one.

CHARLOTTE: At this point, I'm completely and utterly unemployed. I'm going back to Australia with absolutely no work, no bookings, nothing.

PJ MADAM: By the time Charlotte Dawson arrived in Bali at Christmas, she was facing an uncertain future. Charlotte was reportedly $80,000 in debt, she was no longer a host on Next Top Model and she and her long-time agent had recently parted ways.

CHARLOTTE: I can't be fearful - that's my worst enemy. It's everybody's worst enemy - fear of the future especially when you don't have one to look at.

PJ MADAM: But it was not only her future that was concerning her. Her past was crowding in, including Scott Miller, who pleaded guilty to possessing the drug ice and was revealed in court as a brothel owner.

CHARLOTTE: I've had a bad decade. Seriously, my ex-husband being arrested - oh, he appears in court soon - prostitution racket.

PJ MADAM: Not just her husband, she also spoke of blackmail. I also had the head of... (BLEEP) New Zealand bribe me. She says she has a sex tape of me.

PJ MADAM: According to Charlotte in her book Air Kiss And Tell, in 2004, she had a drunken romp late one night with the winner of a New Zealand reality show called The Player. They were on set, and, unbeknownst to her, it was caught on CCTV.

Three days before she left Bali, Charlotte went looking for spiritual guidance.

CHARLOTTE: This is the very first time I've ever had the privilege of being with a high priestess. It's a great honour and a bit nerve wracking.

PRIESTESS: You holding so much sadness in your heart. And also, you have much pain. There is pain here inside...

CHARLOTTE: Yep. That's pretty much it.

PRIESTESS: It is breaking your heart, piece by piece, and you need to forgive.

MADDI: She was the best I have seen her in months. Like, she came back and I thought she was fine. Like, the last couple of months before, I thought she was the best I'd seen her in a while.

PJ MADAM: With no TV work on the horizon, the only work Charlotte had was helping promote a homewares range for her friend Billy. She tried to sound upbeat.

CHARLOTTE: Look, this is something I won't be able to screw up. I reckon I could flog a pillow or a coaster, you know? I've got to be a success at something, right?

PJ MADAM: But the smile masked her increasing anxiety.

CHARLOTTE: You know, I could look at it one way and say I'm looking down... ..I'm looking down the barrel of an unemployment gun and the bullet's gone off. I could think of it that way. Or I could think of it - this is a brand new, fresh start. And that's how I'm choosing to think of it and I just need that guidance and that clarity and that confirmation that I'm on the right track.

ALEX PERRY: That's the most telling bit of footage that you've got of her. She was fearful because when she was trying to put the positive spin on it and the bright, the future, the eyebrows going up, that was Charlotte performing.

PJ MADAM: Adding to Charlotte's anxiety was a TV interview due to be broadcast with her ex-husband, Scott Miller.

BILLY ALLEN: Charlotte was very overly concerned about that program and, um, she was quite depressed.

PJ MADAM: You were there, the night that she watched that interview?

BILLY ALLEN: Yes.

PJ MADAM: Why did she watch it with friends?

BILLY ALLEN: She didn't want to watch it alone.

PJ MADAM: Madeline, when was the last time you saw Charlotte?

MADDI: The night that we watched the Scott Miller interview on 60 Minutes. And how was she? She was nervous to watch it but afterwards, she was a lot better. Yep. She was a lot more relaxed after watching it than she was before.

PJ MADAM: So you thought that she was OK?

MADDI: Yeah. I mean, after the interview, we sat down and watched a movie. And, um, yeah, then I sat and had a bit of a chat with her for awhile and then she gave me a big hug and said, "Love you, Madgi," and I left.

PJ MADAM: They'd watched it at Charlotte's Sydney home a waterside apartment she'd furnished and loved - but with no work, she was struggling to pay the rent. The owners had decided to sell it.

ALEX PERRY: It meant so much to her because it was a refuge.

PJ MADAM: On the last day of Charlotte's life, there was to be an open house at her apartment before its auction at midday. Sometime around 11:00, the real estate agent turned up, let himself in and found Charlotte. At 11:18, police were called.

PJ MADAM: You had to do something very difficult, didn't you?

SIMONE: Yeah, we both did. We had to identify the body. I think she looked so beautiful. She did. And I think that is why we are both really glad that we got to see her.

ALEX: Yeah, 'cause I really felt that, you know, like, she was a beautiful, bright, shining girl.

PJ MADAM: Is it one of your favourite photos?

Mm-hm.

PJ MADAM: She was clearly loved.

VICKY: She was. We just had no idea how many people adored her and respected her but the awful thing is that she didn't, either. She couldn't see it. And that's what depression does. It's heart-breaking.

PJ MADAM: If Charlotte had have called you that night, that Friday night, what would you have had said to her?

ALEX: I would have gone over. "Hang in there, put the Nescafe on, I'm coming over." And in hindsight, I should have gone to a psychologist. As friends of hers, we should have gone to speak to somebody to say, "This is happening to somebody that I know "and I don't know how to deal with it."

VICKY: She was an incredibly beautiful person and I am going to miss her dreadfully. I'm sorry. We were lucky to have her. We were really lucky to have her in our lives. And we are very proud that she was our sister. And we hope that something good can come of her death - maybe people will talk more openly about depression and child abuse and maybe trolls won't tweet horrible things to horrible people.

ALEX: What I want to say to people is you don't know the state of someone. You don't know if somebody's being beaten at home, you don't know if somebody's got a terrible illness, you don't know if somebody's mother or father has just passed away, how they're feeling. So if you don't know the stability of someone, you... ..you can't attack people with words. It is just not... You can't do that because you don't know what the repercussions are. And if you have done that, if you were one of those people that did that to Charlotte, then you are partly responsible for what happened to her.

ALEX: I have to remember the amazing things. I don't want... I don't want the end of it that people go like, you know, "She killed herself." I don't want that. That's not the legacy of her, that's not the sum of who she was.

MADDI: I am going to remember all of the fun things we did together. I want her legacy to be that she was so fun and she was so generous and even though depression did get her, most of the time, she had the most beautiful smile on her face. And that's what I want to remember.

PJ MADAM: Charlotte's ashes were sent to New Zealand, Bali and Sydney, where they now have pride of place in her favourite shoe store.

ALEX: She said to me once, we were talking about something, and I said, "Well, you can sort that out when you get to the pearly gates," and she said, "I am not going to the pearly gates, I am going to the diamante gates." That's the image? It's her.

You know, people say – "she'll be at peace now". That's really great but I would actually prefer it if she were here and we were having a chat to her. If you can hear that, Charlotte…