Tori Spelling Recalls Seeing 'Red Flags' in Her 'Fast and Furious Romance' with Dean McDermott

On the debut episode of her 'misSPELLING' podcast, the actress reflected on the early days of her romance with her ex-husband

Amy Sussman/Getty Images Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott
Amy Sussman/Getty Images Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott

Tori Spelling can admit that there were signs early on in her relationship with Dean McDermott that challenged her.

Days after she filed for divorce from the 57-year-old Canadian actor, Spelling, 50, opened up about the reasons behind their split on the debut episode of her MisSPELLING podcast.

As she acknowledged how their 18-year marriage started as a “fast and furious romance,” Spelling noted that it wasn’t without its struggles. She recalled seeing “red flags” just four months into their relationship, which famously began when they cheated on their spouses, Charlie Shanian and Mary Jo Eustace, respectively, after meeting in 2005 on the set of the TV movie, Mind Over Murder.

“I like saying that I just like to make dresses out of red flags and then proceeded. But yeah, there were definitely red flags. He had anger issues and that started while we were dating, like, 4 months in,” she said, before describing all the reasons why their relationship worked.

Among the “red flags” she recalls included “his temper, which often was fueled by alcohol.”

Related: Tori Spelling Breaks Silence About Divorce from Dean McDermott: 'I've Never Felt More Alone'

“So when he would drink, it was hard because I knew that at some point, it would turn,” she explained. “And I knew, you know, it was always different. It could be 2 drinks, it could be 5, 6 drinks. And then I would just see it turn and I’m like, ‘Oh, here we go.’ And then that became my dance on the eggshells.”

She continued, “No matter what I said it wasn’t right and I would have to, in my head be like, ‘Okay, quick quick quick on your toes.’ It was like a fight. A mental fight. ‘I think he might aim here and if he aims here with what he says, I’m going to respond this way and it’ll take him down.’ And it got to the point where nothing would make sense and I would just know to stop talking.”

Reflecting on how their relationship changed, the Beverly Hills, 90210 star admitted things were “never the same after we started having kids.”

Spelling and McDermott share sons Liam, 18, Finn, 11 and Beau, 7, as well as daughters Stella, 15, and Haddie, 12. They also welcomed their firstborn, Liam, just a year after they met and tied the knot.

<p>Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images</p> Stella Spelling, Tori Spelling, Beau Spelling, Dean McDermott, Finn Spelling, and Hattie Spelling attend the Luskin Orthopaedic Institute for Children, Stand for Kids Gala

Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images

Stella Spelling, Tori Spelling, Beau Spelling, Dean McDermott, Finn Spelling, and Hattie Spelling attend the Luskin Orthopaedic Institute for Children, Stand for Kids Gala

Elsewhere during the episode, Spelling reflected on all the reasons why she fell in love with the actor.

“I just remember I could show him me. It wasn’t like, the cute like, giggly, ‘This is what people want me to be.’ I was able to be like, ‘Loud and like ugh, body-type of Tori. I could have like, I could have a foul mouth. I’m not just Donna Martin, the perfect good girl,’” she recalled. “I could have some bad girl in me and it was okay. And he liked all those sides and he liked how smart I was and accepted me.”

Related: Tori Spelling Is 'Finding Her Way' amid Dean McDermott Split: 'She Takes Things Day by Day' (Source)

At the start of their whirlwind romance, she also revealed that she gave McDermott a warning, but that didn’t deter him.

“‘It’s going to be a lot. I’ve been told it’s an emasculating road.’ And he was like, ‘I can handle it.’ And I was like, ‘Can you though? It’s not going to be easy.’ I don’t think he knew how big it would be,” she recalled of the conversation. “How big the life I was given — and live — is. I think he was like, ‘Oh yeah, things come and go.’ But with me, it never went.”

“From the moment I was born, I was in the press. There hasn't been a reprieve from it. So you kind of have to be used to jumping on board with that world and getting through it and owning it. And I thought he was on board with that. But I was also all very focused on him,” she added.

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Spelling and McDermott's divorce comes after the actor posted and then deleted a statement on Instagram announcing their separation in June 2023. "It’s with great sadness and a very very heavy heart that after 18 years together and 5 amazing children, that @torispelling and I have decided to go our separate ways, and start a new journey of our own,” he wrote at the time.

In Spelling's filing, where she cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split, she listed the date of separation as June 17, 2023, the same day McDermott posted and deleted the announcement.

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