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"One of my college freshmen's fun fact was that she's a public pooper."
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"I had a student share that sometimes his dad got drunk and asked his mom for 'things.' Just as I was starting to tell him not to elaborate any further, he said, 'Like soup! And he yells it like 'Sooooooooooooooup!'"
"It's been years and years, but I still laugh when I think about it."
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"A kid in my kindergarten class shared, 'My peepee fell off at Disneyland!' I didn't ask any follow-up questions."
"One of my middle-schoolers' fun facts was that his mom and dad have the same parents. When I asked him to clarify, he said, 'I only have one set of grandparents because my parents have the same parents.'"
"I felt so much better when the mom called me to explain that her elderly stepfather had married her husband's elderly mother."
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"A student once told my wife that her daddy had a special device that he had to blow into to start his truck."
"I'm a coach, and I asked my 12-year-olds to share something that had changed about themselves over the past year. One boy stood up and simply said, 'Pubes.'"
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"You will think less of me if you google me."
"I taught a first-aid course, and one of my students' fun fact was that he had over $300,000 in unpaid parking tickets."
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"I don't ask for a fun fact — instead, on the first day I always ask, 'What's your most recent obsession?' My first semester, a student said, 'air.' As in oxygen."
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"I am raising cockroaches in my closet to sell to the reptile shop."
"I work with preschoolers, and I asked the kids to go around and tell us one thing that made them special. Most were pretty typical, until one little girl looked me dead in the eyes and said, 'I have been around forever. I have seen the whole world and I know everything.' She was dead serious."
"When I pressed her, she mentioned that she 'came from the sand,' and that she was frustrated she couldn't 'say it better.' I didn't use to believe in past lives, but now I'm not so sure."
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"One of my students' fun fact was that he'd been to juvie multiple times and was currently on probation. Then he pulled up his pants so everyone could see his ankle monitor!"
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"A kid told our class his name was 'Brent5on, but the five is silent.'"
"We were going around a circle in percussion camp introducing ourselves, and our teacher said, 'Hello everyone, my name is so-and-so and I have shit my pants as an adult.'"
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"One of my dad's students' fun fact was that his goldfish died that morning and he experimented on their corpses. He even had pictures on his phone of the removed skin and intact skeleton. He's a successful taxidermist now though, so silver linings, I guess!"
"I was teaching fifth grade, and this kid — who was as white as paper — said, 'My name is so-and-so, but you can call me LeBron.' He was obsessed with LeBron James."
"He was a great kid, and whenever I wanted to get his attention, I did, in fact, call him LeBron."
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"One of my elementary school kids said that he was born a dragon and became a human as he got older."
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"I asked my 5-year-olds how they were feeling this morning, and one of them said, 'My dad clogged the toilet this morning, so I'm feeling frustrated.'"
"I could barely keep from laughing out loud!"