I Refused To Name My Daughter What My Husband Suggested. Am I Wrong?

silhouette close up of asian pregnant couple are quarreling near window at home
silhouette close up of asian pregnant couple are quarreling near window at home PonyWang via Getty Images

In a recent post shared with r/AmITheAsshole (AITA), site user Beginning_Date1924 asked, “AITA for rejecting the worst name ever for our offspring?”.

She shared that she and her husband are expecting a baby girl in a few months, but that soon after discovering her gender, the topic of names became a bit fraught between the couple.

“See, when we first started talking about names, the ‘boy name’ was immediately decided: Stuart Jr., after my husband. No problem there, it’s a classic name and carries family meaning. But, for a girl, things got murky,” she wrote.

What’s the proposed girl name?

“My husband suggested Stuarta. No, you’re not having a stroke,” the poster bluntly explained.

The husband’s argument, she claims, is that since “Stuart” ends in a “t,” adding an “a” at the end would feminise it (like “Robert” and “Roberta,” I guess).

“I tried explaining why that doesn’t quite work, how it sounds more like a furniture brand than a human name, how she’d be endlessly correcting people and explaining its origin,” the poster wrote.

“He’s adamant though, says it ‘honours’ him while giving our daughter a unique name.”

She has suggested other names which share a root meaning with “Staurt,” but says the man will not budge.

“I can’t imagine subjecting our daughter to a lifetime of awkward stares and endless questions about her ‘unusual’ name. I also worry about potential bullying and the impact it could have on her self-esteem,” the poster revealed.

People had... thoughts

The poster was deemed not the a-hole by commenters, one of whom said, “Naming a child is a two yes and one no situation. This means you need two times yes for a name to be chosen and one no for it to be abandoned.” 

Another commented, “how come it’s so important that he be honoured, but not you? See how he feels about naming a future son a male version of your name.”

“Stuarta sounds like a pharmaceutical product. (I can hear the commercials now. ‘In some cases, Stuarta can cause headaches, rashes and even death.‘) It doesn’t have a decent nickname. And no, adding an ‘a’ doesn’t make it feminine in all cases; this is one of them. I’d go for Stuart as a middle name,“yet another commenter wrote. 

But what do you think?