Quotes of the Week: The Bachelor, Tracker, Chicago Med, NCIS and More
We put something unique in your Easter baskets this year, TVLine readers: a fresh batch of Quotes of the Week!
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In the list below, we’ve gathered nearly two dozen of TV’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Family Guy, The Way Home, CSI: Vegas and Chicago Med, plus a rose ceremony speech that has already become one of The Bachelor‘s most iconic of all time.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of Grey’s Anatomy, Station 19, Survivor and NCIS, plus a rare triple appearance, this time from The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Vlada Gelman, Keisha Hatchett, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich and Ryan Schwartz)
FAMILY GUY
“Your father’s not breathing. Meg, you have to give him mouth-to-mouth!”
“Me? You do it! You’re his wife.”
“I need at least four beers to get there, Meg! Besides, you’re the only one who knows how.”
“Meg, please! This is our father… probably.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“We’ve all heard stories of your time on the Hoobastank tour bus.”
The Griffins panic during an emergency, revealing yet another slice of Lois’ salacious past
GREY’S ANATOMY
“Did you get a cat?”
“I’ve given up on finding a human soulmate.”
Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) clues in to the fact that Amelia (Caterina Scorsone) has someone new in her life
GREY’S ANATOMY (Bonus Quote!)
“Whether they have a medical degree or not, moms know. Never bet against them.”
Already, we like new doc Monica (Natalie Morales)
TRACKER
“You know what the difference is between you and Argo? Argo is a prize-winning horse, but you are a wild mustang. No matter how hard you try to get all dressed up, you belong out in the fields — and not in the winner’s circle.”
An actual line of dialogue from the CBS television program Tracker
THE WAY HOME
“OK, officially the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had in my entire life, and I feel like it’s only gonna get weirder.”
Adult Nick (Kerry James) ends his talk with Alice after finding out the teenage girl time-traveled and is the same girl he fell for as a teen
THE WALKING DEAD: THE ONES WHO LIVE
“I am surprised you took back the noodles, though.”
“They pulled a gun on us. You don’t get noodles for that.”
Michonne (Danai Gurira) lets Rick (Andrew Lincoln) know her rule of thumb where highway robbers are concerned
THE WALKING DEAD: THE ONES WHO LIVE (Bonus Quote!)
“Maybe we can help her. And if we can’t… “
“Then I can kill her?”
“Be my guest. Maybe just maim first.”
Rick (Andrew Lincoln) encourages Michonne (Danai Gurira) to move execution lower on her Jadis to-do list
THE WALKING DEAD: THE ONES WHO LIVE (Bonus Quote!)
“It’s a broken world, Michonne, and you’re the only thing that puts it back together. Till my last breath, I am yours.”
“I could never have imagined this. But it could only ever have been you. I’m yours.”
Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and Michonne (Danai Gurira) get engaged, married, remarried… all of the above?
CONSTELLATION
“I need a mummy.”
“I need an Alice.”
“That’s me. Mummy, that can be me.”
The Alice (Rosie/Davina Coleman) of one world and Jo (Noomi Rapace) of another find a place in each other’s lives
CSI: VEGAS
“‘Ocho’ is his name because he’s the eight robot.”
“Would it surprise you to know that I speak Spanish?”
Detective Chavez (Ariana Guerra) needs no translation
STATION 19
“We’re here, we’re queer, we don’t need to look like a box of Lucky Charms year-round to prove that.”
One Pride celebration a year is enough for stick-in-the-mud Travis (Jay Hayden)
STATION 19 (Bonus Quote!)
“You are a real piece of work… and the most repressed man I have ever known. And I work in politics, so that’s saying something.”
Eli (Rob Heaps) calls out two-timing Travis on his BS and hypocrisy
WWE RAW
“You want to know the most ironic thing about you? The straight edge thing. You never drink, you never do drugs, yet you spend all of your time in rehab.”
Drew McIntyre delivers a deep insult to CM Punk, who’s been plagued by injuries and who also won’t be competing in this year’s WrestleMania event
SURVIVOR
“Last tribe to finish, otherwise known as…”
“The losers!”
“I thought they might say Yanu!”
Jeff Probst makes a joke at Yanu’s expense after the tribe suffers one wicked losing streak
SURVIVOR (Bonus Quote!)
“I have had some survival experiences. You ever been stuck in a van with the same six people for two months surviving off $3 of Taco Bell a day? It is not easy!”
Apparently life on the road as a touring musician prepped Ben for starving in the jungles of Fiji
CHICAGO MED
“I invited him to my apartment for ‘tea.’ Could I have been any clearer?”
“That depends. Did you do that little quote thing with your fingers when you asked him?”
Hannah (Jessy Schram) and Maggie (Marlyne Barrett) try to figure out why Ripley didn’t make a move on Hannah
NCIS
“McGee just found out that he’s one-quarter Danish.”
“What a coincidence — I just picked up a fresh Kringle. The pastry of your people, McGee!”
Parker’s (Gary Cole) morning pastry run is right on topic
NCIS (Bonus Quote!)
“I know what you’re thinking…”
“I don’t think you do.”
“You think that I am a terrible girlfriend.”
“OK, maybe you do.”
Jess (Katrina Law) gets to explaining why her dad knows nothing about boyfriend Jimmy (Brian Dietzen)
THE BACHELOR
“Falling in love with you has been so fun. And I do love you. But the thing is… you’re not going to choose me. The last couple of days, I realized that you’re not my person. And I know that you know I’m not your person. And as much as that hurts, I know you said you want the best for me. So I’m going to do what’s best for me, and I’m gonna go.”
With her final speech to Joey, Daisy actually does give us the most dramatic Bachelor finale ever
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