Men Are Sharing The Most Awkward Things That Happened To Them At The Urinal, And My Dudes, Some Of You Need Restroom Etiquette Lessons
If you're not a person who uses a men's restroom, you might not know there are unspoken rules and etiquette when you use the urinals. And, honestly, I don't think I ever experienced anyone "breaking" them.
But recently, Reddit user curtail_thetrail was curious about those situations where the etiquette goes out the window and asked: "Men, what was the most awkward thing to happen at the urinal?"
Well, thousands of men replied with their awkward stories. Here are the top, best, and least gross comments:
1."Not sure this qualifies because the other person was in a stall while I was at the urinal. But anyways, one day at work I go to the urinal and start pissing, a few moments later I hear the sound of a woman moaning followed by the dude in the stall exclaiming, 'Damnit!' while he dropped his phone on the floor with the porn still going."
2."Getting pissed on from behind because drunk ass mofo didn't realize the urinal was already being used."
3."My stumbling drunk college buddy was peeing at the urinal next to me in a bar's bathroom. He was mumbling lots of things, and at some point said, 'Shut up, John Mayer!' I didn’t think much of it, and I laughed because it was so random. I finished and went to wash my hands. As I’m doing so, John Mayer walks over from the other urinal and washes his hands next to me. I apologize for my friend. He nodded and walked out."
4."While at the urinal, I once heard two people having sex in the stall. Typical grunting, moaning, etc. Then, his phone goes off. He answers. It’s his wife. He says he just stopped for a beer. He won’t be late for the party. He’ll help her with the kids when she gets there."
5."Worked with an older guy years ago who would somehow wind up with his pants around the ankles at the urinal on multiple occasions. I’d walk in, see this, and just head for a stall."
6."The stupid urinal on campus can be seen from a cafe lobby if the door opened all the way. One time, someone used the handicap door opener while I was using it so the whole cafe saw me taking a piss, nothing wrong with it but damn who designed it like that???"
7."A friend and I are next to each other at the urinals and a random guy walks up and asks my friend, 'Does this rash look normal?'”
8."Some guy complimented my watch while I was holding my johnson."
9."I was taking rifampin for a meningitis exposure. During an intermission at a play in NYC, I’m standing there pissing deep orange urine that smelled like I ate five pounds of asparagus (side effect of the medication). Another dude steps up, starts to unzip, pauses, makes a stink face and leaves. I kinda chuckled, a little embarrassed I groan under my breath, 'Ehhhhh ffff**k it.' After the show I see him point me out to his wife. Her face is aghast."
10."I work in IT. Idiot strolls up to the urinal next to me and starts to ask about some ticket he had submitted. F' off, Ron. Neither the time nor the place."
11."I was at a Rolling Stones concert and looked at the urinal next to me. There was a girl sitting on it taking a piss. She happily says 'hello!' to me and I just shrug and laughed. The line for the women's room was insanely long and I admired her gumption to take care of her business."
12."I was in a Las Vegas casino. Drunk guy in a suit and tie stumbles up to the urinal, let's fly with a horse piss and a huge sigh of relief...and then proceeds to loudly "shart" his pants. Everyone starts laughing, including him. Then he tries to zip up, but stumbles backwards and lands on his ass. Which made him laugh harder and the result was more sharting. Got out of there quickly and saw a drunk woman in a dress asking every guy leaving the restroom if her husband passed out in there. Yeah, that marriage was off to a wonderful start! 😄"
13."There was a public restroom in an old local theater that had rows of urinals mounted back to back on a knee wall that was only about four feet high. So as you stood there doing your business if you looked up, you'd be face to face with another guy doing the same thing. Weird."
14."My brother was 20 years old, and he knew our dad was a few seconds behind him going into a grocery store bathroom. So, my brother quickly pulled his pants and underwear all the way to the floor, with his bare butt hanging out while using the urinal, just to f*** with dad. Dad was not behind him. It was a stranger, who saw a fully grown, half-naked man at a urinal."
15."I was all liquored up, went to piss, didn't realize I didn't take my penis out and pissed my pants."
16."I was taking a piss. Some lads are arguing behind me. A scuffle breaks out. I'm trying to finish quickly and GTFO of there without pissing all over myself. Someone hits someone. I look down and that someone is laid unconscious at my feet. I finish up, step over sleeping guy while others are screaming and holding each other back. I leave, dry."
17."I had a Scottish guy in the stall yell over to me, 'That's a mighty stream y've got, brother!' Scrambled my brain."
18."I was 20 years old. It was at the bowling alley. It was one of those little ones mounted kind of low and I was wearing khakis. I had to pee so bad it hurt. I let the stream loose and was immediately met with piss splashing all over the f***ing place. It got all over my pants. I took a step back but it didn't help. I was already doused by the time I figured out what the heck was going on. Some asshole put a penny under the edge of the plastic mat. That creates a little lip which causes all sorts of splashing. It sucked a lot."
19.And lastly: "I got pee on my feet and I was wearing sandals, worst part was I didn't start peeing yet."
You can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
