A former Top Gear host been roasted over a bizarre article that suggests “Australia was God’s laboratory” and the higher power never had intentions of people living here.
Writing for The Sun newspaper in the UK, Jeremy Clarkson said God created Australia as a continent “far, far away” to house “his experiments that had gone wrong”.
“Like, for instance, the saltwater crocodile. He designed it, built it then realised it was far too savage and bitey to live in, say, Milton Keynes,” he said.
Clarkson, who wrote the article amid Australia’s bushfire crisis, then went on a rant about the redback spider “which liked to hide under lavatory seats so it can bite a man’s penis when he sits down to do his number twos”.
The Grand Tour host used Australia’s deadly snakes as another example of God’s experiments gone wrong and the biblical figure made the nation because “he needed a home for all these things”.
“And to make sure people didn’t go there, he put a huge coral reef on the approaches and filled the interior with a sea of sand that goes on forever,” Clarkson added.
“He even used this remote outpost to house some of his more ridiculous ideas. Stuff he came up with when he was drunk.”
As awful as headlines and contributions go, you’d be hard pressed to beat this by @TheSun & @JeremyClarkson
Apparently God decided to burn Australia & everything that lives there.....
I like a laugh more than most but this is 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮 pic.twitter.com/J73Gdx5Hz5
— Richard Poxon (@RichPoxon) January 4, 2020
Clarkson then points to native kangaroos, that get about by bouncing, and the koala, which “is permanently stoned and catches chlamydia if anyone else picks it up”.
“For millions of years, this big, sandy cupboard under the stairs went unnoticed. But then along came Captain Cook and now the world knows all about Oz and its stupid, dangerous creatures,” he wrote.
The opinion piece comes as Australia faces a bushfire crisis, with blazes raging in every single state.
Despite parts of Australia in the midst of a drought and suggestions climate change has played a part in the catastrophic fires, Clarkson believes something more biblical is going on.
He then urges Australians to “move home” to the UK.
Readers slammed Clarkson on Twitter, with one suggesting he “casually erased Australia’s Aboriginal peoples”.
@JeremyClarkson I will never read or watch anything of yours again. You are despicable and should be ashamed. People are losing their towns, home and lives in these fires and you make fun of it? Shame on you
— Leila Timol (@leila_timol) January 4, 2020
Why is anyone requesting Jeremy Clarkson write a Column about the Australian bush fires? He can’t, and doesn’t, offer any substance or wisdom regarding the situation. A disgusting & monumental failure to be funny at the complete wrong time. Do you really have no compassion? Moron
— Jimmy. (@ImJimmyMcCallum) January 4, 2020
“Laughing at my beautiful country while it burns... Shameful!” another tweeted.
Somebody else said the piece was “tone deaf” and “so out of touch”.
Australia’s bushfire death toll stands at 23 since the start of the fire season.
Millions of hectares have burned, greater than the size of Belgium.
Many still remain unaccounted for in Victoria and more than 1000 homes have been destroyed across the country.
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