A frustrated mother has asked for a refund and a “bottle of red” from Woolworths after one of the supermarket’s novelty Christmas items turned quality family time into a “train wreck”.
The Woolworths 3D Gummy Block Train Kit promises to provide customers with everything needed to build a colourful and delicious gummy train, with gummy blocks, gummy wheels and gummy axels all ready to be assembled with instructions provided.
However, writer Emily Thompson described the end result as a “travesty” after a failed attempt at making the train with her children.
Gummy train kit turns into ‘box of spiteful lies’
“We need to talk about your box of spiteful lies. Or, as you call it, ‘3D gummy block train kit’,” Ms Thompson posted on the Woolworths Facebook page.
Along with several photos of the botched attempt of reproducing the image advertised on the packaging, the mother of two wrote that she suspected nobody from Woolworths had ever attempted to put together the gummy train.
“Have you actually attempted to build this? Has anyone? Did your food stylist use glue to construct it for the photo? How do they sleep at night?” she asked.
The busy mum from Orange in NSW explained that she bought the kit hoping to spend some “quality time” with her children building the “wonderful Christmas activity” and she followed the instructions closely.
Although Ms Thompson found the first step of the instructions to line up three gummy blocks “easy peasy”, she explained step two was where the problems began.
“You need six gummy wheels that are kind of round slid onto three axles that are square and not long enough, then placed on top of the original three blocks then supported by smaller blocks that don’t fit because the axles are too wide.
“Next, you build the caboose chassis precariously on top of this shambles and expect it to stay, apparently through sheer force of will because you abandoned physics in layer two,” Ms Thompson wrote.
Mum asks if 2020 is the year to start ‘ignoring laws of physics?’
The Woolworths customer provided photos of each step, comparing the gummy mess to a fitting end for 2020.
“Do you really, really think that 2020 is the year to start ignoring the laws of physics when making Christmas shrines? Have you not considered that this could in fact be the undoing of us all? I’m just saying that if the apocalypse was arriving on a train, it would be this one,” Ms Thompson added.
Not one to give up, Ms Thompson continued to attempt to complete the train as her children watched closely and hoped for a Christmas miracle, instead it was the moment the gummy train left the tracks.
“We briefly thought we were a wheel short but it turns out our youngest was wearing them as rings. Not an issue, because this was the exact moment the locomotive engine collapsed, possibly because it didn’t want to be associated with the rest of the travesty,” Ms Thompson wrote.
Exhausted and drained of patience, Ms Thompson finally gave in and asked the supermarket to refund the cost of the gummy train and to throw in a stiff drink to help her recover from the incident.
“I know that we’ve kind of overused the term ‘train wreck’ this year, but this was a very apt physical manifestation of our lives this year.
“So in closing, what was I thinking. Can you please refund me the money I spent on this and also throw in a bottle of one of your cheaper reds.”
A spokesperson for Woolworths replied they would pass the feedback on to the team.
Do you have a story tip? Email: firstname.lastname@example.org.