Women Are Sharing Why They Will No Longer Have Kids After Trump Won The Election, And Everyone Should Read This
In case you need a reminder: Donald Trump — who was found liable for sexual abuse — has repeatedly taken credit for the overturn of Roe v. Wade and insists that reproductive rights should be decided by the states. In 2016, he even said that "there has to be some form of punishment" for women who would get abortions if they were prohibited.
We've already seen pregnant women die because doctors cannot provide lifesaving care in fear of breaking the law. Earlier this month, the tragic story of a teenager in Texas made national news because she died due to the impact of the abortion ban in Texas (where I live and where doctors face $100,000 fines and life in prison if they provide abortions).
Many women across the country have declared they would not have children in response to Trump winning the election. So, we asked these women in the BuzzFeed Community to share their reasons. Here's what they said:
1."I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I’m with a man I love and deeply want to start a family with. But I live in Texas, where access to abortion services is among the most restrictive. Our state recently made news for letting a pregnant teen die rather than providing her with lifesaving care that could end her pregnancy for fear of legal repercussions. Those physicians' lives matter enough to defend their self-preservation. But that teenager's life didn’t matter enough. We child bearers aren’t considered humans worthy of the right to life anymore."
"The simple answer is that I don’t want to die. Childbearing has become a life-or-death decision where I live. I am also high-risk, being of 'advanced maternal age' and having both an autoimmune disease and a connective tissue disease. I am absolutely devastated by the choice, but I’m considering a hysterectomy rather than risk being forced to endure an agonizing death."
—Anonymous
2."Nobody realizes this, and I learned from firsthand experience: Many situations that do not result in a live birth are medically diagnosed and billed to your insurance as an abortion. After two long years of trying, my husband and I finally had a pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage at 14 weeks when there was no longer a heartbeat. My grief was compounded a month later by my insurance statement when I was billed for a 'spontaneous abortion.' Now, we are absolutely terrified to try again to have a child, only for it to end the same way."
"It is within the realm of possibility that we could become pregnant again — and god forbid a national abortion ban could go into effect during the pregnancy — but this time around, I wouldn’t be able to get the same lifesaving healthcare that I need because of how it is medically billed. I’m not sure I am willing to take the risk with my life."
3."I’m a mom to twins (a boy and a girl). While I want to have another baby, I don’t think it’s going to happen as long as Donald Trump is president. I lost my sister due to pregnancy complications when our state didn't let her have an abortion. Both she and the baby ended up dying, and all my sister wanted to do was be a mother and raise the baby with her husband. I’m scared of that happening to me, as I don’t want to leave my children motherless, my own parents childless (I’m their last living child since my sister died), and my husband a widow. Under Donald Trump, my rights as a human being will be at risk."
"I am a woman. My daughter is a strong girl who will grow into a strong woman. I don’t care what your beliefs are — an innocent woman died. So did her baby. If she had been allowed an abortion, she’d still be here today. She also would’ve tried for another baby (I know that for a fact). I personally can’t risk bringing another baby girl into this world, knowing that she won’t have the same rights and freedoms that she deserves. Thank you, judges and politicians who overturned Roe v. Wade, for (indirectly) killing my sister."
—Anonymous
4."Before the convicted felon won the second time, I was leaning toward never having children. After he won, I am 100% never having children. I will never bring a child into this world. I believe it would be a selfish thing for me to do at this point. Schools aren’t safe, the Department of Education will most likely be abolished, the climate crisis is about to get even worse, guns have more rights than women, and LGBTQ+ people are not safe. I’m planning on getting a big dog for protection, and that’s about all the children I’ll have."
—Anonymous
5."I already have two children, but Donald Trump being elected to a second term has solidified for me that I will not be having any more. I work in healthcare, so I know a lot more than the average person about everything that can go wrong during a pregnancy and how risky it really is. I don’t ever want to be in the position where I need to have an abortion/terminate the pregnancy for medical reasons, or need assistance to remove products of conception after a pregnancy loss, and not be able to."
"In addition to the undue mental, emotional, and physical anguish that would cause, I could lose my life and leave my children without a mother and my spouse without a partner. I’m not willing to risk that."
6."1) With the upcoming tariffs, I won’t be able to afford it. 2) As a Black woman, we already have a higher maternal mortality rate as it is (no matter who is in office), so with the newly overturned Roe v. Wade, I will be even more at risk. 3) Why would I want to bring a child into this mess of a world?"
—Anonymous
7."My partner and I have been trying for about five months to get pregnant. We'd talked about if it didn’t happen naturally, we'd have considered IVF or been happy to foster and adopt children. We currently live in a state that is consistently blue. Now that the convicted felon has been elected, my partner and I are not going to explore ways to help us get pregnant. I am at the older end of being able to get pregnant, and four years from now would be above the recommended age for pregnancy. The likelihood I’d have a miscarriage, stillbirth, or require a D&C is higher. It would be a terrifying prospect to be pregnant and have Trump put a federal abortion ban in place."
"Am I willing to die to be pregnant and give birth to my future child? Do I want it that bad? These were questions I had already considered but now are even more dire and more likely. And I can say my answers to those questions have changed due to recent events.
Honestly, more than anything, it makes me really sad. I had never been the type of woman who dreamed of being a mother. But when I met my partner, he was exactly the man I knew I could go through that experience with. That through pregnancy, childbirth, and raising a child, he would be by my side, helping and supporting me, and a fantastic father. When we foster and adopt, we’ll be able to experience raising children together. But I have accepted that I probably won’t ever have a biological child."
8."I told my partner the night after the election that I refused to have children under a Trump administration. I won't even begin to consider it again until whatever damage he ultimately does starts to be undone in the following administration. I will not bring a child into a world where it is literally considered a crime for them to be themself and have full autonomy of their body. It hurts because I do really want kids, and I want a family with my partner, but I am not going to risk my life for it."
—Anonymous
9."I got married this year, and I am in my older reproductive years. I was very intentional about waiting as I am now very financially secure and truthfully did not want to have a child outside of marriage. I have several health issues that would make me a high-risk pregnancy, and I have been working with a doctor to help me manage my health to make it feasible. Nonetheless, I am not 100% sure if I could sustain a pregnancy. After the election, my husband and I tearfully agreed that we could not lose each other (as a life-sustaining abortion for myself may not be available)."
"Our closest birthing hospitals are in a red state. Even if we got pregnant today, we don't know what the laws will be like nine months from now. I am heartbroken."
—Anonymous
10."I miscarried a few weeks ago. I didn't even know I was pregnant. Apparently, I was about six weeks along. I thought my wonky period was because I had been working out so much; it wasn't. The only reason I didn't go into sepsis was because I live in a state where I have access to reproductive care (Hawaii). If I had been in one of Trump's abortion ban states, not only would I be denied care, but a possibility of going to jail because my body failed me. Failed us. Can you imagine that? So no, my husband and I will not be having children. He's already scheduled his vasectomy."
—Anonymous
11."I’m going in for an IUD consultation tomorrow. There are so many reasons I could name. I am about to move in with my boyfriend, and we are sexually active, but we both agree that there’s no way we feel comfortable (financially or mentally) having a child any time soon. Because we live in a red state, we know I won’t have access to an abortion or medical intervention (in the event that the pregnancy isn’t viable). Everything is preventative right now, but ultimately, the biggest reason is that I feel guilty at the very thought of bringing a child into this world that is so hateful, divisive, dangerous, and bigoted."
"They don’t deserve that — the same way my generation shouldn’t bear the burden of fixing everything. I refuse to bring a child into the world during a Trump presidency or while the future looks so scary. I can’t do that."
—Anonymous
12."My husband and I were planning to start opening up the possibility of pregnancy in 2025. However, now that Trump won, I'm second-guessing whether we should do that. The women in my family have a history of miscarriages, and I learned that miscarriages are coded as abortions for insurance purposes. I'm so scared that I might have a miscarriage and get prosecuted for it. I want a baby, but these new developments have me concerned about what might happen if we try."
—Anonymous
13."My husband and I have a son who we love and adore. We have been considering a second kid; however, I had a tough pregnancy and childbirth, so we've been on the fence. We made an agreement that if Trump was elected again, though, we'd be one and done. We always wanted a girl, but bringing a girl into this country led by a misogynist and sexual assaulter seems so cruel. And even if we had a boy, I can't imagine bringing another sweet, innocent child into a world where over half of the country would rather have the convicted felon in charge rather than a Democrat or a woman."
"Our son will be 7 when this hell term is over, and I don't know how we're going to explain the prejudiced and violent language used by the president of the United States. I fear for our son and his future, where bigots and misogynists are emboldened to shout violent obscenities and dehumanize entire groups of people. It's disgusting, and we don't even know yet what fresh horrors the next four years will bring. We may not even live in a democracy by the time it's over, and women's rights might go back to the dark ages. It's terrifying, and I don't want to subject another child to that future."
—Anonymous
14."I live in Idaho. I had preeclampsia with my first child, and there were some minor complications, but I had a great team of doctors who were able to help me have a supportive birth. I fear if something were to go wrong in my next pregnancy, knowing that many OB-GYNs have left the state, I wouldn't be given the proper care needed to save my life. I can't risk it."
—Anonymous
15."I had my tubes tied 10 years ago because we thought we were done having kids (we have three). But life changed, and now we are much more stable than 10 years ago. We had everything planned and tested to get my tubal reversal to have another child. That won’t happen now with Trump and his assault on women’s rights because my risk of an ectopic pregnancy is much higher, and I can’t let something like that take me away from the kids I already have. They always say that abortions are legal 'if the mother’s life is in danger,' but that’s not how it’s playing out. Doctors are afraid to do these abortions even when it’s clear-cut, and I don’t blame them."
—Anonymous
16."My boyfriend and I were already on the fence. But I don’t feel confident about getting pregnant in this country in the next few years in case the laws change, and the system will just let me die if I have a complication. By the time the term is up, I will be a little too old for having a kid. Also, I just don’t really think I want the stress of sending my precious child I’d adore to school where they could be shot at any moment."
17."Simply put, it is too risky for my personal and medical safety and that of a child. Not only for myself due to complications and access to care but also for any potential child I bring into the world. Rolling back Affordable Care Act policies is horrific and immoral. Insurance companies routinely deny care now. Just imagine what it would be like without those policies and with government oversight reduced. Add on the possibility of women-initiated divorces being dissolved and the general statistics for domestic violence and partner/spousal homicides (especially pregnant women)..."
"Honestly I am not even sure they could pay me to have a child or to get married at this point. Maybe in four years, but I will be that much older, and it will be that much harder pregnancy-wise."
—Anonymous
18."I already have one son, and my husband and I have been debating if/when to have another child. For me, I always knew the outcome of this election would be a big factor in that decision. My first pregnancy went smoothly, but you never know what can happen. I will not jeopardize my son not having his mother just because I’m not deemed to be close enough to dying to get medical intervention if something goes wrong. That’s just not an option for me; I will not risk not being here for him."
"My husband said we can’t let the government dictate what we do with our lives when it comes to kids. It’s different for him because as a straight, white man — he’s never had this feeling of freedom being taken away. Welcome to the club, babe; it sucks. After we talked and came to an agreement, I set up my appointment for an IUD later this week. ✌🏻"
—Anonymous
19."I do worry about my daughter’s future, but I believe I can raise her to be an empowered agent of change in whatever kind of country we’ll have after the next four years. The reason I am rethinking having a second child is the rapidly declining state of reproductive healthcare. I know that these cases of women dying unnecessarily because they couldn’t receive a lifesaving abortion are rare, but it’s not just my life on the line anymore. I have to weigh my desire to have more children against the heightened possibility that I’ll leave my daughter without a mother."
—Anonymous
20.And finally, "I am 32 years old, and Trump winning this election solidified my choice not to have children. I watched my sister not only have a difficult time becoming pregnant but also suffer multiple miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy, and two complicated births. Thankfully, I have two healthy and beautiful nephews that I love with all my heart, but this election has brought to the forefront the reality that us women live in today: If she had lived in a state that had banned abortion or had stricter limitations, she may not be alive. My mother also had complications during my birth. I’m terrified that I would potentially face similar issues if I were to get pregnant, but I refuse to take that risk in a country that has proven they do not care about women."
"In a country that is complicit in the many deaths of women in states like Texas, where lack of proper care directly resulted in the death of a mother whose fetus was no longer viable. In a country where spewing hate such as 'your body, my choice' has become the norm on social media. I fear for the future of our children and what the world will look like for them if Trump stands by his promises of reducing climate regulations and dismantling the Department of Education.
Most of all, I refuse to bring a child into a place that I have lost all faith in, where human decency is hard to find, where power and greed run rampant, and where basic human rights are so blatantly trampled on."
—Anonymous
Now that we've heard from women, I'm also interested in what our male readers have to say. Men, what are your fears and worries for Trump's upcoming presidency? Let me know in the comments below or in this anonymous Google form.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.