"The Police Said They Couldn’t Do Anything Unless The Situation Escalated": Women Are Sharing 16 Times The Police Didn't Take Them Seriously After Receiving Threats

This post contains brief mention of rape and abuse.

Recently, we covered a story about a Florida woman who was arrested and charged for allegedly "threatening" a BlueCross BlueShield insurance agent who denied her claim.

Women online responded by highlighting what they see as a double standard of justice, calling out how quickly police arrested this woman for her "threatening" words while often dismissing female victims who have been threatened.

So, we're sharing stories that we received from women in our comment section to highlight the seriousness of this issue. Here's what they said:

1."I had voicemails and texts, and my stalker came into my work. He put a tracker on my car! The police said there was nothing they could do because he hadn’t physically threatened anyone. But he had!"

"My stalker had a large gun safe full of guns and rifles. I told them that. The police said they couldn’t do anything unless the situation escalated. Escalated! I couldn’t get a restraining order. This went on for years."

—Anonymous

2."When I asked for help about the stalker who terrorized me, the police asked me what I had done to make him so mad at me."

—Anonymous

3."I once was chased by two men back to my apartment building. This was after I ignored them cat-calling me while walking back home. I luckily was able to get the building door locked behind me so they couldn’t get in, and ran to the basement to access a separate stairwell where they couldn’t figure out which floor I lived on since the main stairwell I would have normally used could be seen from the outside."

"When I got back to my apartment, I could still hear them banging and screaming for 'Princess Jasmine' (I’m South Asian) to come back down, so I called the police. The officers arrived while the guys were still banging on the door, and they told me that since I wasn’t physically harmed, nor was the men’s conduct threatening, they would not be taking any action. I was 19 years old."

—Anonymous

4."I was in high school but old enough to drive. A man would wait for me at my parking spot and follow me home, getting increasingly threatening as I declined his (adult) advances. Eventually, he threatened to harm me and my family if I didn’t go out with him. When we finally called the police after months of harassment, lying in wait, following, and threats of violence — they said no crime had been committed."

"They asked if I had said some specific special words, like, 'You are stalking me, I am scared, you must stop following me or you will be breaking the law.' Which was wild, was it a crime or nah? Why was the onus put on a teenage girl to inform a grown man of a law that police just told me did not exist? Unless I said those magic words or the man actually assaulted me, there was 'nothing they could do.'"

—Anonymous

5."I had a guy try to run me into oncoming traffic because of road rage. The cops said they couldn't do anything because they didn't see it happen. Even with dash cam footage, a description, and a full license plate."

6."My mother was constantly beaten up by her boyfriend; they just offered a restraining order. When he would show up and threaten her and us, they said they couldn't do anything unless he violated the restraining order. So he could threaten her and us from a distance, stalk her, but nothing would be done until he put his hands on her again."

—Anonymous

7."I was kidnapped and raped about 15 years ago. Cops told me they could pick up the guy who did it, but since they had seen someone that looked like me taking photos in my town's graveyard the week before, the case wouldn’t likely make it to court because 'only prostitutes hang out in graveyards.' They ended up putting me on the stand only to tell me since the guy said he 'paid me' by tossing a wadded-up $20 bill at me afterward, they could only charge him with soliciting and that I was actually lucky they weren’t charging me for prostitution."

"WHAT HOOKERS HANG OUT IN GRAVEYARDS?! They also called me Stacy (not my name) throughout the entire ordeal and had the nerve to tell me that I shouldn’t worry about getting pregnant because I’d make a 'great mom.' Dude got away with everything, and they wouldn’t even issue a restraining order because 'he doesn’t even know you.'"

—Anonymous

8."When I was in divorce proceedings, my soon-to-be ex ran into me and tried to run me off the road. Because there were no witnesses and I was able to control the car and drive to a police station, I was told, 'Wait 'til the next time!' WTF! He tried to kill me!"

—Anonymous

9."I called police about home invasions from my stalker of 17 years and all they said was 'change your locks.'"

10."I was an advocate for a woman whose estranged ex had called her to say he was 'coming over right now to fucking kill her.' I was in court with her when the judge denied the protective order because 'it was not a credible or imminent threat. It was a figure of speech.' She had fled the home before he arrived."

—Anonymous

11."My high school ex-boyfriend and his sister kept leaving threatening messages on my voicemail, telling me I need to 'watch my back.' My mom and I went to the police, and we were told that that wasn’t actually a threat and there was nothing they could do."

—Anonymous

12."My soon-to-be ex came over one night in December when I wasn't home and kicked out my front windows when I wouldn’t let him in. I called the cops (there was a restraining order on him), and they met with him and told me there was no proof that he did it. Why would I lie about this?"

13."This person was threatening to come to my residence to harm myself and my young children, and police said their hands were tied because he lived in another state. Even though he was in my state at the time."

—Anonymous

14."My 88-year-old mother was threatened by my niece and her boyfriend, who were squatting in her house. We told them they couldn't live there, so they threatened to send someone to harm her at 3:00 a.m. (typed out on Facebook). I took her to apply for an order of protection."

"The judge denied her an injunction because it was their First Amendment right to say what they think on Facebook. There is a saying in my family that the police only want to show up to do the body count after the incident happens."

—Anonymous

15."I was threatened by an irate man in a Starbucks drive-thru. The baristas called 911 on my behalf, and the man was apprehended by six cops. The cops asked me if I had done something to provoke him, making me feel like it was somehow my fault I had been threatened by a random stranger. They ultimately let him go because no one else witnessed the threat. It was maddening, to say the least."

And finally...

16."In 2019, I’d had a threat from a Nazi in Texas that he was going to come to my home with a gun. I contacted the police in my city, and they said they couldn’t do anything unless he was at my door. So after he’d potentially shot me or my family? Useless. Simply useless. Homeland Security stepped in and learned he had made up his whole plan. But regardless, who makes these laws?"

—KlutzyCat

Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.