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Why I’ve declared tomorrow ‘Party Dress Day’

The author on past Party Dress Days
The author on past Party Dress Days

Last January was my lowest point of the pandemic. Christmas being cancelled was a big blow. Then there was the return to home-schooling for my older son, trying to juggle that with home-working and an energetic toddler. The weather was bitterly cold. I was worn out and, with nothing to look forward to, feeling really bleak.

One night on Instagram, I saw that a friend with a daughter the same age as my youngest child had been dressing her up in party dresses. She figured that her daughter was going to outgrow the dresses whether she wore them or not, so she may as well enjoy them, even if only to twirl around the living room. I loved that idea, but I have two sons – so I looked at my wardrobe instead. I found a zebra-print dress that I bought in Topshop before Christmas that I hadn’t had a chance to wear yet.

My zebra-print dress
My zebra-print dress

That Saturday, I blow-dried my hair, put on some makeup and slipped into the dress. It felt amazing to wear something other than my go-to mum uniform of leggings and loungewear. I took a picture, shared it online, and loads of my friends – particularly the mums – messaged me saying, “I haven’t worn a nice dress in such a long time!” Of course at the beginning of the lockdowns, people dressed up for Zoom quiz nights or fancy dress parties. But by January 2021, all that was long past.

I realised that we all needed an excuse to dress up. We needed a Party Dress Day.

Pretty quickly I decided that if I was going to turn this into an event, I should make something good out of it for those who have lost a lot in the pandemic. During the lockdowns, bereaved people were so alone with their grief. As a society, we weren’t just missing out on birthday parties; we also weren’t able to have proper funerals or wakes, or observe any of the rituals that help people begin to come to terms with loss.

A very good friend lost her dad to Covid. She came to see us at home and just had to stand on the pathway outside. She was standing in the cold, crying, and we couldn’t hug her or do anything to help. I thought, we can’t hug, but we can raise money. I turned it into a fundraiser for The Good Grief Trust.

That gave the event added meaning. Now it had the dual purpose of cheering people up, and reminding everyone that there are a lot of grieving families out there who need us and need resources.

The first Party Dress Day was in February last year. I thought it might only end up involving 10 people, but it was so much bigger – big enough that I put together a second event last Easter. For the first one, I wore three outfits, ending up in a slinky metallic dress from River Island for the evening.

We had a picnic in the living room and a disco – I set up a playlist on Spotify and shared it, so people could dance to that if they wanted to. My younger cousin has had to postpone her wedding twice now, due to Covid. She wore an amazing sparkly dress that she bought for her hen do, before it was cancelled. Other people who got involved said it felt more special than just another night at home.

My cousin Joanne Dark got into the spirit by wearing her party dress to do the housework
My cousin Joanne Dark got into the spirit by wearing her party dress to do the housework

It was really uplifting to see what people were doing and watch the donations coming in. I originally set a goal of £100, which I quickly lifted to £500. In the end, we raised £1700. We broke out the champagne and lit indoor sparklers in the dining room to celebrate. For the second event, over Easter, I promised that if we could push the total another £1000 higher, I would wear my wedding dress for the first time in 10 years.

We reached the goal and I was so happy to be sat in my living room, watching TV in my wedding dress, with my boys in little matching shirts and bow-ties. Thanks to everyone’s donations, The Good Grief Trust was able to offer support to 10,000 bereaved families, and so much more.

In my wedding dress after meeting fundraising targets on the second Party Dress Day
In my wedding dress after meeting fundraising targets on the second Party Dress Day

We’re taught to feel that fashion is frivolous, but actually it’s so important for your mindset. After I had my eldest son in 2016 and started working from home, I felt like I lost my sense of style. I went from dressing up for the office to living in black jeans and sweatshirts all the time. Party Dress Day has reminded me that wearing colourful, flattering clothes makes me feel happier about myself and the world. Things aren’t all gloomy. And the compliments are lovely, too.

A year later, we all still need a Party Dress Day. Everyone’s got covid fatigue, and there’s so much uncertainty about the future. Even though I was very lucky to have a normal family Christmas this year, once we got home and January hit, we were completely drained. In a normal year, January is quite a low month. There’s a lot of rebuilding to do. Party Dress Day is a way to say, “You’ve made it through January – it’s onwards and upwards from here.” And mental health and grief are eternal issues. They’re not just linked to the pandemic.

My friend Nicky joined from London, while my sister Sarah got all dressed up in Wales
My friend Nicky joined from London, while my sister Sarah got all dressed up in Wales

Anyone can get involved in Party Dress Day tomorrow. All you have to do is dress up in something you feel wonderful in (for me, that’ll be a completely ridiculous sequin minidress – and very thick tights). Go to our JustGiving page and donate what you can, share a picture on social media with #partydressday – and have fun! It doesn’t matter if all you’re planning to do is walk your dog, clean your bathroom or even go out to meet friends at the pub. Dressing up is a brilliant way to chase away the January blues, while also doing good.

Find out more about Party Dress Day and support the project here

As told to Emily Cronin