Mid-flight meltdown? Parents weigh in on what to do when your baby cries on an airplane

Ask a parent who loves to travel what's holding them back from taking a trip with their babe? A screaming tot and dirty looks from fellow passengers probably tops the list. But what do you do when your baby is cries on an airplane?

We've all been there: when the World's Cutest Baby is hungry, bored, cold, hot, overtired or simply just can't deal anymore. The result is usually big feelings, big wails of discomfort and nowhere for parents to go to diffuse the situation.

While it's certainly irritating for fellow passengers, the anxiety and distress that come with trying to soothe a disquieted child in a confined space can send parents over the edge as well. Far enough, even, to avoid air travel altogether until later in childhood.

As I write this, in fact, there's a 3 month old on my flight from Houston to Puerto Vallarta who is alternately crying and giggling. Her dad is tickling her to extract a little calm and happiness while she decides whether it's time to dissolve into tears or peals of laughter. He's also wearing noise-cancelling headphones: Pro dad level unlocked.

My husband and I keep shooting each other glances of amusement each time she roars with laughter, but there's also knowing in our eye contact: We're seasoned travelers, we feel for the guy but we're also 7 months pregnant. At this moment, we're getting a glimpse into our own futures.

Hilary Duff, most recently the star of Hulu's How I Met Your Father, once posted an Instagram story about a family trip to Hawaii where her implacable toddler screamed and cried for the entire flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu. There was nothing she could do. She just had to let it happen and repeatedly apologize to her frustrated seatmates. One man even shot her a middle finger.

In 2014, the issue came to the fore when the story of a mother who passed out goody bags to her fellow passengers as a preemptive "I'm so sorry you're sitting next to a baby" gift went viral. Many parents asked if it's really necessary to appease fellow passengers with bribes and apologizes when babies truly cannot control their emotional outbursts, plane or no plane.

It's OK to travel with your baby, even if they cry

Jess D., a mom from Idaho Falls, Idaho who runs the family travel Instagram account @WhereIsBriggs and prefers to keep her last name private, says she can relate to the reasoning behind gestures like apology gifts on planes. "I think [the mom who passed out bags'] heart was in a good place and she was just doing her best to control a situation that might become uncontrollable," says the mom of 18-month-old Briggs, for whom her Instagram account is named. "You can't just tell a baby to stop crying, however I don't think that should be expected from parents traveling with their babies."

Baby Briggs has been on more than 65 flights to 16 states, including Alaska and Hawaii, as well as five countries, so Jess is a seasoned pro when it comes to flying with baby. She says it's OK to be nervous about travel with an infant or toddler, but it's important to give yourself a break.

"It's such a common concern among parents, especially new parents," she says.

To cope during her own family travels, Jess has a mantra she repeats to herself while traveling in airport and on planes: "This is a public place, and my baby has every right to be here, too."

She also says it's helpful for her to recognize most people are really understanding when it comes to babies. "I've found many more helpful people during my travels with Briggs than rude people," she says.

Kira Keegstra, who lives in Brooklyn, N.Y., isn't a mother but sympathizes with parents attempting to calm crying children. "Is it annoying? Sure. Do I blame the kid or the parent? Absolutely not," she says. "If you need to go scream in the bathroom, I'll hold your kid. We're all in this together."

How to keep baby happy during a flight

While Jess points out that essentials like a copy of your child's birth certificate (for domestic travel) or passport (for international travel), diapers, wipes, a change of clothes, pacifiers with straps, bottles and burp cloths are a given, many parents are so busy packing for baby that they forget themselves.

"I can't tell you how many times I've heard people forget to pack a change of clothes for themselves, too," she says. "While traveling, the baby might spit up on them and then they have to wait the entire flight until they get their luggage to change."

Jess keeps her son Briggs entertained on flights with travel-specific toys. Her go-to simple way to have entertaining toys on hand for? Curated kits from a company called Mini Voyager, which curates age-appropriate travel toys designed to keep babies and kids busy and content.

Diego Rincon and his wife Katie have traveled all over the U.S. and Europe with their two small children while he's served in the U.S. Army. "Babies are much easier than toddlers," he says. "Our oldest, when he was a baby and a toddler, could calm by nursing and go to sleep, but needed the car seat to contain him and feel comfortable. Our youngest wouldn't calm and kept trying to mess with everything around him and greet everyone until he got tired and screamed for hours."

Katie Rincon agrees that traveling with their kids has been a challenge at times. "Diaper-changing a toddler on an airplane with both of us and our almost-two-year-old squirming is not something I will ever forget," she shares.

On take-off and landing cabin pressure can be a problem for little ears: If you've ever had a cold while flying, you know how much it can hurt. The swallowing and jaw motion of a bottle feeding, pacifier or nursing session can help regulate the pressure inside a baby's ears and alleviate pain.

If baby is bored, walk around with them and point out interesting colors on a fellow passenger's shirt, the shape of the window or the sounds you're both hearing. If the flight attendants are nearby, see what kind of objects they have that might interest your little one.

Dagny Sighvatsdottir, who lives in Iceland, has traveled a lot with her kids, and is still nervous every time they fly together. "But it always goes pretty smoothly," she says. "Early flights are way easier. There will always be a time where they need to explore or else they'll be annoyed, and I just have to let them. They walk around for a few minutes and say 'hi' to other passengers."

At the end of the day ... or runway ... Jess says it's OK to let your baby feel their feelings, and to feel your own.

"If nothing is working and your anxiety is starting to take over because everyone's looking at you,"says Jess, "go hide in the bathroom for a few minutes and take some deep breaths. Sometimes, just being in a space where no one can see you can help lower your own anxiety and regulate emotions. It's very hard to calm a crying baby when we're stressed ourselves."

Want lifestyle and wellness news delivered to your inbox? Sign up here for Yahoo Life’s newsletter.