A woman live-tweeted the worst first date in the world and it was brilliant
First dates are never easy, but observing them can be absolutely corker – as has been once again proven here.
Meet Anne Thériault a writer from Toronto, Canada, who has gone viral this week by witnessing an absolute car crash of a first date.
Things start to get slightly pretentious early on.
Watching a couple on what appears to be a terrible first coffee date at the table next to me. Dude is every precious self-involved writer.
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
And she started overhearing some choice quotes from the guy.
"I'm writing a screenplay. It's about this guy who never really feels like he fits in. Like he's just different"
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
So awkward.
"People tell me I look like James Franco."
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
The quotes kept coming.
She keeps politely asking him questions. Not once has he asked her about herself. Wait he just asked if she'd ever dated a writer wtf
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
"Writing is really hard. People don't know that. It involves a lot of introspection, a lot of wrestling with your own demons."
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
And the harrowing coffee expertise was next.
He's now complaining about the "body" of the coffee, telling her he knows a place that doesn't over-roast their beans.
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
This date just wasn’t going well.
Every single thing she mentions he "did that one time, with my buddy" and is now an expert in
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
And it gets worse.
She keeps politely asking him questions. Not once has he asked her about herself. Wait he just asked if she'd ever dated a writer wtf
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
Serious issues were being raised.
OH NO NOW HE'S TALKING ABOUT HOW HIS FEAR OF HAVING CHILDREN STEMS FROM HIS DADDY ISSUES AND I CANNOT
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
PLEASE, it’s a first date.
And then it reached its nadir.
Girl has a look of mild panic.
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
A mortifying conclusion.
Girl just looked at her phone in feigned surprise. "Oh weird, I have a text from my mom." I just snorted audibly, turned it into fake cough
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
But it kept going.
Dude, oblivious: "oh yeah? That's awesome, I don't think my mom even knows how to text"
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
The worst excuse to end a date we have ever seen.
Girl: "yeah, she's, uh, worried she left her stove on. she's in a meeting and can't go home. I'd better go check for her."
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
And, like that, she was gone.
Dude: do you want to go and come back? Girl: It's pretty far. Maybe we can do this again next week? I'll text you. OUT THE DOOR LIKE A SHOT
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
He just opened his laptop and started typing. I hope it's a sad story about his life.
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 3, 2015
Leaving Anne to ponder her viral live tweeting success.
I aspire to someday have a Wikipedia page where the highlight of my professional life is "live-tweeted a guy who looked like James Franco"
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 6, 2015
