Recently, I went down a Quora rabbit hole looking for advice on unique first date ideas. I didn't find them, and instead I found stories from people sharing their worst date. WHY are some people allergic to common decency???
1."I went out with a guy for coffee. Wasn't the best date ever, but not awful so I agreed to a second date. There were lots of red flags, so I nicely told him it wasn't going to work out. He asked when he could see me again. I said that I didn't want to go out again. He asked me to go to a movie with him 'as friends.' He said he was going to come over and help me put up my garden fence. I declined. He kept planning our future together. I got my things and paid the bill."
"He walked me to my car, gave me a hug that included pinning my arms, lifting me off the ground, and swinging my legs back and forth like the clapper of a bell. He begged me to let him know when I got home okay. I sat in my car for a moment, and knew I needed to vent a bit. My best friend got off work at midnight, so I asked him to meet me for a drink. While I was there, I remembered promising my date that I'd text when I got home. Considered lying, but then texted that I wasn't home, but had decided to meet a friend and was perfectly safe, thanks for your concern. Didn't think a thing about it. The next day, I received a long rant about how rude I was and that if I'd decided to go somewhere else after the date was over, I should have contacted him and let him know so that he could come, too. Dude who I've already told that I won't be going out with you again, you have no say in what I do after our date is over."
2."The guy took me to a McDonald’s, ate five hamburgers one after another, looked on his phone, asked me if I was horny and wanted to go to his apartment 'so that I can do you.' I politely declined and left... I have never been as disappointed in someone as on that date."
3."I went out with a coworker who asked me to go furniture shopping with him because he wanted a woman’s opinion when decorating his new house. He said that for taking the time to go shopping with him, he wanted to buy me dinner. I met him at his place, and he drove to the furniture store. He asked for my opinion on different pieces of furniture and, if I liked anything, he would examine it thoroughly and then tell me everything that was wrong with it and why I was wrong to like it. Two hours later, we left the store without buying so much as a lamp. He stopped by KFC and bought a bucket of chicken. He then drove us back to his house. We ate the KFC at his kitchen counter (he had no table or chairs), and then he announced it was time for us to go to bed (more accurately, to the mattress on the floor since he had no bed). I picked up my purse and headed for the door. He was insulted and disappointed that we weren’t going to end that fantastic evening with coitus."
4."I actually asked him to dinner after meeting him in an airport. He was tall, handsome, and seemed very nice. We went to dinner in Santa Monica. About 1/4 way through dinner, he called the waitress over and in a very mean and aggressive way asked what was taking so long. He implied it was her fault! I was very embarrassed as he was being loud, too. She looked stunned, and I was stunned. I politely as possible asked him why he did that. He stated he was the customer and she was there to serve 'him.' I placed a $20 on the table, and told him I was leaving because I would not tolerate that type of behavior toward a server. He could lose my phone number. I gave her a $20 as I left and told the manager it had nothing to do with the server. He did call me again. I reiterated what I said and blocked his number."
5."I have once, years ago, because the date was that bad. So bad, he didn’t realize I had left the date for three hours. Let that sink in. It took him three hours to realize I had left. I met my date while out one night with a guy friend for a local event called First Friday. He asked for my number after chatting to me and my friend a bit. The next day, he called and asked me on a date, all normal. Arranged a time and public place to meet. Okay then. I showed up early and was one of only THREE women in the place, and one of the women was the bartender. He showed up late, didn’t recognize me (remember he had talked to me IN PERSON the night before), and when we sat to talk, it was like pulling teeth."
"Then, my guy friend showed up (it was a neighborhood pub), and my date recognized him immediately. Suddenly, my date was chatty Cathy, even introduced me to my friend, though he forgot my name. He also seemed to forget my friend and I knew each other. I suggested the three of us play a game of billiards to kill some time, and try to give the guy a chance to straighten up and show some personality. My date agreed and went to see about getting a table. He basically got distracted talking to some people already playing pool. I had enough of his crap by this point and left. Three hours later, I got a text where my date apologized for getting distracted, for taking so long to realize I had left, and asked for a second date."
6."It was around Christmas time, I had a date in a bar with a guy I had talked to online. The date was doing alright, until he said, 'I could never be with you in a relationship. But you could be my Christmas holiday girlfriend.' Gee, thanks, I guess. I am good enough to entertain you for a week or two, I feel blessed. I got up and left. Didn’t feel like wasting my days off on someone whom I already knew would treat me like garbage."
7."We agreed to meet up in a local pub for a drink, and at first glance, he did look very nice. Tall, well-dressed, and fairly nice to look at. He was rather posh, actually. We started chatting, and I wanted to know what he was interested in doing in his spare time. He enjoyed driving, and was an extremely good driver, apparently. He pointed out his big 4x4 car outside the window. 'Women shouldn’t really drive,' he said, settling into his favorite conversation. 'Perhaps 1 in 50 women are capable of driving like a man. Actually, I think I’ve been instrumental in getting quite a few of the worst ones off the road. If I’m driving down the road and I see a car being badly driven by a woman, I’ll have a prang with her. Nothing serious, mind, I’ve got good judgment enough just to have a little scrape with no serious harm done. It’ll be her fault: I just won’t take evasive action if she is in the wrong: I’ll swing in rather than drive round.'"
"'That’s the kind of thing that’ll put them off driving, and may make their insurance go up as well, which might put a stop to them. It’s best to get them off the road for their own safety as well as everyone else’s. It’s probably a relief to them: I’m actually doing them a favor. Hang on…are you leaving?'"
8."Many years ago, my doctor thought I would be a good fit for his anesthesiologist friend, so I agreed to a blind date. I was a young lawyer. We agreed to meet at an outdoor spot near a marina, so I dressed appropriately for a date. I looked nice. The gentleman arrived wearing a trench coat. It was summer. I thought ok, that’s a little odd. The trench coat never came off. He barely spoke to me. I had to carry the whole conversation, if you can call it that. I left as soon as I could reasonably do so without making a scene. I very politely told my doctor friend to not match anyone else with this particular friend. Creepy."
9."I was dating this guy in 2013. One day, we went to Ikea to have our lunch at the cafe. As usual, the cafe was packed with people. It made more sense for me to find us a table, while he went to get food. The line moves in such a way that you got your food, paid for it, and then moved into this self service-station where you would pick up utensils, napkins, and drinks. I found us a table after searching for over 15 minutes, and he came back with a tray full of food. I could see the sour look on his face and assumed he was just cranky from the long queue. I noticed there were no utensils and naturally asked, 'Oh, no utensils?' (I thought perhaps the cafe ran out of clean utensils.)"
"He immediately retorted, 'Yes. Because I want YOU to go get them.' He emphasized the word 'YOU' with a fake smile plastered on his face. Now, get this. This guy HAD to walk past the utensils station, on the way to our table. Picking up the utensils would NOT cost him anything nor require ANY extra effort. But he refused to do it simply because he couldn’t stand the idea that I could sit on my ass and relax while in his mind he did everything. I had to intentionally walk to the utensils station to grab a set of utensils. Yes ONE set. I placed the ONE set of utensils on the table, told him to enjoy HIS lunch, and I walked off. I had lost my appetite."
10."We met through mutual friends. He seemed cool. I was a single parent at the time. He was a single parent as well so he understood the struggle of dating while being a single parent. Or so I thought. We were supposed to meet for dinner. He got held up at work so he was about 30 minutes late. No big deal. We meet at a shopping center with several restaurants, but he decides he wants to take me to a different area of town to his 'favorite' place. I follow him to a local bar. I'm still trying to be upbeat and positive. Maybe this place also has awesome food and that's why he brought me here. He already knew that I didn't drink. Bar has no grill. I mention being hungry, and he says, 'Oh, I thought you ate while you were waiting on me.' I brushed it off as a misunderstanding."
"He then has a conversation with the bartender about me while I'm sitting right next to him at the bar. He says, 'She's hot for a mom, right?' Making things super awkward for myself and the bartender. The 'for a mom' thing is where I finally decided he was just an ass. He then proceeds to try and have a conversation with me over the loud music playing so it's the awkward exchange of him yelling and me saying, 'What?' So he gets two inches from me and is trying to whisper in my ear in between shots of Jager. He suggests to me that I should leave my daughter with the babysitter overnight so that I can come back to his house and we can have a 'play date' of our own. So now he's not just a jerk, he's a creepy jerk. I said it was an awesome idea and I was going to go outside and call the babysitter. I got in my car and left. Never spoke to him again."