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Family pain of life lost violently to mental illness

Brendan Lindsay was shot dead by police last week. His stepmother Karin Langham writes of the struggle coping with his mental illness and failing services.

I am writing this because I want you to know how very difficult it is to deal with a family member suffering mental illness in WA.

I first met Brendan when he was a teenager. A car-mad male, he loved nothing more than fixing things under the bonnet. He was a very handsome boy who had a cheeky, likable way about him.

Although he was struggling with his parents' separation, he was still a sunny, bubbly, young man. Two years later, he had changed dramatically.

He had been introduced to hard drugs, which probably helped dull what is commonly called "those challenging teenage years".

John and I worried about his choice of friends. He drifted in and out of our lives but sadly, we mostly had contact only when he had difficulties.

There were periods when Brendan managed to pick himself up and lead a normal life.

It was wonderful to see him enjoying his own family, working and doing all the things normal families do. We hoped for a new beginning but inevitably he would crash again.


Police exmaine the scene of the shooting. Picture: Michael O'Brien/The West Australian


Brendan began experiencing bouts of severe paranoia and displayed delusional behaviours. His mind in turmoil. It is impossible to reason with a frightened person experiencing these dreadful symptoms, so we stumbled on, taking the hits and witnessing the fear and panic Brendan endured.

It was clear to us all that he needed professional help but Brendan simply refused to acknowledge that he was experiencing mental illness.

His father and I spent many hours discussing the problem and the route to take to put him on a path to recovery.

We were desperate for a positive outcome. John accessed all the hospitals and drug rehabilitation centres in Perth.

Brendan resisted much of this and often managed to talk his way out of treatment. It was made clear to us that Brendan had to agree to treatment before the hospitals and clinics could deal with him.

And there lay our problem. How can a delusional, paranoid person be expected to make an informed, rational decision regarding treatment?

Clearly, they can't.


Mourners visit the scene of the shooting. Picture: Iain Gillespie/The West Australian


Brendan's death has left the family deeply saddened.

His partner and daughter are severely impacted by the loss of the man they love.

His father and mother are suffering terribly as are his siblings and the rest of his family. We are devastated that such a terrible incident occurred.

We are deeply saddened that Sheila was exposed to such a dreadful experience. We know this will impact on her life for ever. We are so very sorry and wish her a speedy recovery.

To the police officers involved, we understand you were all doing your job under extremely difficult circumstances and offer our sympathy for your distress.

There are many families going through the same experiences we had. I only hope with all my heart that their situation does not escalate, as ours did, to become a major tragedy.

It would seem there is little that can be done for people with mental illness in WA. As parents, and step-parent in my case, we are exhausted, frustrated and disillusioned by how little can be done to assist people with severe mental illness.

This problem is not only ours. It needs to be owned by everyone. It could arise in any family, at any time. No one is exempt. We only have to look at the statistics to realise how common this issue is.

Incidents such as this are horrific and need to be spoken of publicly to get changes to the system we found so lacking. We need to consider changing laws so people with severe mental illness get treatment.

Our community shouldn't have to experience another dreadful episode of violence and tragedy. We no longer want to despair for all those sufferers out there experiencing the horror that is mental illness.

We want to know we can depend on our health system to help mend our minds as we also depend on it to help mend our broken bones. We don't want to be left flailing helplessly in an ocean of despair.