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Joys of travelling without your other half

Wendy Barrett finds occasional independent travel is a great way to pursue separate interests.

Oh, the giddy freedom of it all. As I strode through the departure lounge towards my gate, long-forgotten emotions coursed through my body; emotions I had taken for granted in my youth but which at that moment felt utterly delicious.

I was heading to the Sunshine Coast to attend a five-day spiritual retreat. On that holiday, now half a decade ago, I had the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted, in an exotic location — all on my own. The feeling of liberation was transcendental — not because it was a spiritual retreat but because it was the first time I had travelled entirely on my own since my children were born. With almost unseemly alacrity, my husband had agreed to oversee the house and kids in my absence. He probably would have agreed to anything, just as long as he didn’t have to go too.

When it comes to some of our interests, my husband, Kevin MacKinnon, and I belong to different species. He enjoys challenging himself physically with arduous feats of derring-do — and I don’t. This has led him, with like-minded friends, to trek the Kokoda Trail, kayak in white-water marathons and ride vintage motorbikes around hairpin bends in Italy. I am happy to wave him off on these sorts of adventures and can enjoy his exploits vicariously.

Thankfully, we also have interests in common, and we’ve had our fair share of holidays together as a family. Even Kevin’s first motorbike trip to Italy morphed into a fabulous family jaunt around Europe. Our daughters and I flew over to meet him in London once he’d finished the motorbike-riding component of his holiday. We all share a love of European history and culture and many precious memories were forged while visiting museums and art galleries, and quaffing hot chocolate in Parisian cafes.

But when our interests diverge and the timing and finances are right, we will sally forth alone or with others to realise our travel dreams. My daughters and I have been on a few holidays where it has just been the three of us, as my husband wasn’t interested in coming along at the time.

And recently, I had the opportunity to go on a wonderful holiday to Britain with my sister where we visited family and friends and attended a retreat in Glastonbury. On that holiday, I made my first foray into sketching while out soaking up the sights, sowing the seed of an idea for a future trip; one devoted solely to artistic pursuits.

While some people may find the thought of travelling separately a little unnerving, there are certainly many out there who do travel independently of their partner — often to celebrate milestone birthdays with friends or to visit family back home — or to indulge particular interests such as fishing trips or crafting weekends. It seems that niche holidays are a fast-growing part of the travel market. Getting all the planets to align for fitting in with a particular tour or retreat can be a tricky business for just one person, let alone two.

When we met, my husband and I both had jobs that entailed occasional interstate travel, so travelling separately was normal for us right from the beginning. It simply made sense. It would be a rare couple indeed who share all the same interests and pen identical bucket lists. Few people will ever reach every destination on their list — particularly if it’s as long as mine — but the opportunities to knock some of them off increase when we allow each other the freedom to travel separately.

We’ve all heard the galvanising cry: seize the day. And who could argue with it? With life but a fleeting interlude in eternity, there is only so much time and money at one’s disposal, so why not fulfil a dream if and when an opportunity arises? None of us has any guarantees as to how long our health or mobility will remain robust. With many genres of travel requiring the vim and vigour of being in good physical condition, some things are better done sooner rather than later if the opportunity is there. Even the most sedate of travel itineraries call upon good reserves of energy and stamina.



While it is a wonderful thing to reminisce about shared experiences, it can be equally wonderful to have fresh stories to tell. There are likely to be plenty of those if travelling alone or with a companion who is not our significant other. There is more room for spontaneity and meeting new people, not to mention engaging in novel experiences that may never have been considered when travelling as a couple.

We return to hearth and home with our lives enriched and a fresh perspective on life.

My husband is soon to embark on his third motorbike trip to Italy. At the time of booking his holiday, we toyed briefly with the idea of meeting up in Rome for a week, but the planet-aligning business I alluded to earlier didn’t work out for us this time. That will be a trip we can look forward to sometime in the future. In the meantime, I am happy for him to go without me; just as long as he comes back in one piece and with some good stories to tell.