Woman served 'deconstructed coffee science experiment' says Melbourne has reached peak hipster
Why make your own coffee when you can pay someone to not make it for you.
That's the latest concept to come out of an uber-hipster café in Melbourne's north and it raised the ire of one coffee lover who could not resist calling the place out for seemingly doing half the job.
"Sorry Melbourne but no. No no no no no," wrote Jamila Rizvi in a Facebook post that has caught on faster than half-made coffee ever will.
"Hipsterism has gone too far when your coffee comes deconstructed," she added, decrying how she had to wait for 20 minutes for three beakers containing separated coffee, milk and water.
"I wanted a coffee. Not a science experiment. I prefer to drink my beverages out of crockery and not beakers."
Rivzi, Mamamia's editor-at-large on mat-leave, pondered where Melbourne's gastro-dissections might go next.
"I'll just get a chopping board with a bunch of actual coffee beans and an upside down hat on it," Rizvi postulated.
"This must stop, dear Melbourne," she pleaded. "This must stop."
While the hipsters' raison d'etre is to be totally unique and original, this Melbourne café has taken its queues elsewhere.
Cafes around the world have been experimenting with serving coffee-as-lab-equipment for some time, including in Melbs.
My mate ordered a strong black coffee and I've never been so angry in all my life wtf even is this? pic.twitter.com/5R8v81mjCc
— IncrediblyRich (@IncrediblyRich) January 17, 2016
Deconstructed coffee. Melbourne, you've gone too far pic.twitter.com/DULvAdw7cr
— Dave Krantz (@weskrantz) August 11, 2015
While many sided with Rizvi, there were a few coffee lovers who leapt to the café's defence.
"That is the most up yourself statement you could have made," wrote one woman.
"It 100% would have said that it was deconstructed on the menu. Stop complaining about it and go somewhere else," she added, calling the writer out for her first world problems.
Another enlightened coffee drinker said Rizvi has "no respect for coffee" and suggested she invest in a Nespresso machine "if your not interested in quality (sic)".
Might we suggest everyone lay off the coffee and have a spot of tea?
Newsbreak – June 1
