Nicole Kidman has revealed intimate details about her love life, depression, pregnancy, miscarriage, surrogacy and adoption.
The 45-year-old Aussie star told Who magazine's 20th Anniversary Collector's Issue that she experienced the "loneliest, loneliest existence" after her she split with husband Tom Cruise and was surprised to fall in love again and marry rock star Keith Urban, which brought her to "a really beautiful place".
"There was a long time when I never thought it would happen for me again - and it happened," Kidman told Who.
"I never, ever take Keith or our love for granted and I always keep in my mind that my dream is to grow very old with him."
The Oscar winner said all her children were highlights of her life.
Kidman has two adopted children with Cruise - Bella, 19 and Connor, 17 - and two daughters with Urban - Sunday, 4, and Faith, 21 months.
"I remember when we adopted Bella, her looking at me for the very first time. That is extremely powerful, like a kind of birth, too," she said.
"I married [Tom] really fast and really young, but I don't regret that because it got me Bella and Connor, and I did have a fantastic marriage for a long period.
"Then when it didn't work out, I had to really dig deep and find my way through depression, but I have no regrets about all of it. It was all a part of growing up."
Kidman said she was surprised to fall pregnant.
"I had tried and failed and failed and failed. Not to be too detailed, but I've had an ectopic pregnancy, miscarriages and I've had fertility treatments," she told Who.
"I've done all the stuff you can possibly do to try get pregnant.
"Every woman who has been through all those ups and downs knows the depression that comes with it. So the way it just happened with Sunday was like, 'What?' The percentages were so low. It is the miracle in my life."
Kidman denies reports that she counselled actress Katie Holmes leading up to the 33-year-old's split with husband Cruise.
"I never spoke to her," she told Who.
"I wish all of them well, but I was not involved in any of that."