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Diary of a Big Brother housemate

Imagine this: no phone, no television, no gripping reading material, no concept of time and all means of communication to the outside world completely cut off.

In this day and age, the thought of being stripped of all of the above would have almost any tech-savvy, social media addict on edge.

Admittedly, when I was selected as a stand-in housemate for a "test run" inside this year's Big Brother house, which heads into its 11th Australian season and third since being revived by Nine, I thought I would be one of those people.

Surprisingly, it wasn't the case.

For me, there was no better time to switch off the phone, tune out from my daily TV addiction and bid farewell to loved ones than agreeing to spend 18 hours in the Big Brother compound.

Having watched the global reality TV franchise since it debuted on Australian screens back in 2001 (albeit on Network Ten), I had no idea of what to expect.

But no amount of mental or physical preparation could prepare me for what was in store during my hours of confinement in the newly refurbished house.

Like the real housemates, we were told next to nothing and had no idea what to expect.

The sole aim of this mini social experiment (which involved seven journos/media personalities including myself and nine random strangers) was to be put through our paces as a housemate and undergo tasks set by none other than Big Brother himself.

After surrendering our phones and gadgets, we were ushered into the house, which was palatial to say the least.

Instead of one sprawling level, there are now two (a first in Big Brother Australia history).

In terms of the overall design, think Art Deco meets contemporary luxe.

The outdoor area was complete with a fully equipped gym and a spa, while the resort-style pool bound by (artificial) turf was the ultimate centrepiece.

Housemates chilling by the resort-style pool.


Testing out the gym equipment.


Sadly, given my limited time in the house and the chilly temperature that night, I didn't take a dip in the pool so the heated spa had to suffice.

There was also a tree house, but Big Brother promptly announced it was "out of bounds".

The living zone (separate to the light-and-bright kitchen which was located on the opposite end of the compound) abounded with bright pops of colour on the walls, carpets and even the furniture and décor.

The two bedrooms were distinguished by different colour schemes - one a peachy pink and the other cerulean - while the bathroom featured a communal shower with all the contemporary fittings you'd expect of a five-star hotel.

One of two brightly coloured bedrooms in the Big Brother house.


At the centre of the lounge room were a semi-circular couch and two lounge chairs which face a big flat screen TV.

Stemming off the lounge room was a set of stairs that led up to the diary room. The steps were lined with LED lights which turned green when the diary room was open for access.

Once the house tour was complete and all housemates were acquainted, Big Brother summoned us to the lounge room to explain our first task in his deep, commanding voice.

Big Brother housemates gather in the lounge room.


It was one that was bound to polarise some housemates, add tension even, but it added an interesting element to the night (I can't reveal just what it was, as this will be too much of a spoiler when the real Big Brother housemates appear in the launch episode).

Throughout the evening, we were to stick to the rules set by Big Brother and any attempts to defy him came at a price.

Let's just say we quickly learnt he was a force not to be reckoned with.

Having no concept of time was the biggest head spinner, not helped by the fact that most of us hadn't had a decent meal for at least eight hours and didn't know how soon we'd be fed.

Thankfully (most likely after a few housemates voiced their need to feed) Big Brother heeded our hunger pangs, first delivering us canapés and champagne to get the night started and later providing us with a barbecue meat feast.

It was only after the champagne began to flow that the livelier conversations followed suit.

When the champagne began flowing, so did the conversations.


Most non-media housemates were in awe of our celebrity guest, 2Day FM breakfast radio host Jules Lund who was sans his signature blonde tips, instead sporting a crew cut, who told us he had no idea he was going into the Big Brother compound having been blind-folded for seven hours ahead of entering the house, including during his trip from Sydney to the Gold Coast.

2Day FM breakfast host and media personality Jules Lund, right in blue denim shirt, mingles with fellow housemates.


Despite the age gap between the housemates, the youngest being 18 and the oldest in their 40s, everyone seemed to get along well.

Some were loud (most likely me after a couple of champagnes), some were entertaining (Lund and Brisbane breakfast radio host/comedian Stav Davidson were a barrel of laughs) some were quiet and reserved while there were also a few observant "fence sitters" in the mix.

The conversations (a big chunk of which were spent chilling in the spa) ranged from J-Law's leaked nude images to what the real Jesse Eisenberg was like to interview in the flesh (there were mixed opinions) to the more deep-and-meaningful chats revolving around controversial topics like religion and gay marriage.

Given we were only in the compound for 18 hours, there was no major drama to report even though I secretly hoped there would be (c'mon, everyone loves a heated debate).

Although at first I felt uneasy knowing I was being watched (made obvious by the reflective glass that flanked all the rooms and the cameras that jutted out of the ceiling), after a few hours I was able to let loose and eventually I spared no thought for the Big Brother production crews lurking behind the scenes.

At times, having to rely on the art of conversation was tough.

How you can survive on small talk with strangers for weeks on end is beyond me, but I suppose that's why the casting process is so pivotal to the show.

All in all, I felt my time in the house was a bit too brief to know what it's really like to be a housemate during their time of confinement.

Another night may have proved more helpful in gaining a better perspective, but I suppose it was enough of a "taster".

Indeed, it was an experience I'll never forget.

And while I'd never in a million years put myself through that whole process on national television, it's definitely one I can tick off the bucket list.

Big Brother launches on Monday at 8.40pm on Nine/WIN.

Vanessa Williams visited the Gold Coast as a guest of Nine.