Fresh from giving Julia Gillard elocution lessons, Sir Les Patterson is ready to offer his services to any WA politicians needing a makeover.
The boorish cultural attache and priapic patriot is in Perth to help with some political speech-writing during the last stop in Barry Humphries' Eat Pray Laugh farewell tour at the Crown Theatre from tonight.
"Perth's a good place for a swansong, the city on the Swan," Sir Les sputtered as he got comfortable with his "Lesettes" research assistants at the Hyatt Regency yesterday.
"I am summoned to write speeches for various politicians," he said.
"I like to hear my own words spoken by the silver-tongued orators we have in politics today. I have helped Julia Gillard talk nice. My elocution lessons have paid off."
Humphries' gigastar housewife Dame Edna Everage has been going strong since 1955 but Sir Les is a self-described ring-in from the mid-70s.
"Against the wishes of Dame Edna I appear in her show because I give it credibility," Sir Les said.
"I straddle the old Australia, the scallywag period of WA Inc, with the Australia of tomorrow. The politicians today are all the same, they are getting duller. The new Puritanism, is what I am fighting."
As Humphries, 78, prepares to retire Dame Edna from touring, Sir Les said he would be going for some time. "I have had a check up and I am in very good health comparatively. My liver's shot and the old prostate is giving me a bit of trouble but I am getting some advice about that from the Prime Minister's partner."
"I will be remembered because I will still be around. I will be remembered for bringing credibility to Australian culture."
Sir Les said he was looking forward to stocking up on ties at Parker and Co. menswear. "My ties have to be resistant to certain kinds of substances," he said.
"Perth is a watering place that I happen to like particularly. I knew a lot of those blokes back in those extraordinary days of WA Inc. I miss it - private enterprise triumphant. I like the nightlife and it is a long way from Lady Patterson. She'll be checking my credit card statement."
Eat Pray Laugh is at the Crown Theatre until February 10.