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How Therapists Talk To Their Family Members With Different Political Views

With the 2020 presidential election just around the corner, there’s no doubt that family debates about politics have reached a fever pitch. (Unless, of course, you’re all politically like-minded — in which case, lucky you.)

This election cycle is one of most divisive we’ve seen in recent history, with a highly polarizing president running for reelection, a viral pandemic wreaking havoc across the country, and ongoing protests against police brutality all in play.

But even before the Black Lives Matters protests and COVID-19 broke out, the chasm between highly partisan family members was growing. In 2019, 35% of Republicans and 45% of Democrats said they would be unhappy if their child married someone from the opposing political party ― a sharp uptick from attitudes on the same subject 50 years ago.

Now more than ever, Americans are subscribing to a kind of political tribalism, sticking close to those who think like them and sneering at those who don’t.

But what about your actual tribe ― your family? How are you supposed to stay civil and above the fray when you can’t believe they’re voting for “that guy”?

To help you get through the election cycle without becoming estranged, we asked marriage and family therapists what they do when a family member draws them into a political argument. Here’s what they said.

I try not to match snark with snark.

At one recent family gathering, marriage and family therapist Sean Davis and his wife were the lone Californians in the room. Seemingly out of nowhere, Davis said a family member went for the jugular, asking the couple, “How do you guys feel about the fact that everybody else in the country thinks Californians are stupid?”

“I had to process the ignorance of such a blanket statement, but my wife handled it deftly,” said Davis, who’s also a professor at Alliant International University. “She told him, ‘Californians don’t think about the rest of the...

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