Is social media shaming ever ok?
The death of a 13-year-old girl in the US, apparently a result of public discipline tactics gone wrong, has thrown into stark relief the dangers of using the internet to shame children.
Izabel Laxamana has become a major viral news story around the world after reports emerged she had jumped from a moving car before throwing herself from a highway over-pass, just days after she appeared in a YouTube punishment clip.
The video shows a despondent Izabel with piles of hair around her feet as her father reprimands her for “getting messed up”.
The tragic results of the tactic in this case appear to have solidified opinions, but for weeks, even months now, many parents have been hailed for publicly shaming misbehaving children as controversy raged around whether it was tough love, bullying or outright child abuse.
So how did it come to this?
This US mother was far from condemned when she used the internet to fight fire with fire. Her 13-year-old daughter had apparently been posting racy photos to the internet, so her mother used the internet to very publicly demonstrate the error of her ways.
The video was widely reported two weeks ago and, while Izzy’s father has been roundly condemned for his video, the public verdict on this one was far from unanimous. Many praised the mother for doing what was best in a tough situation.
As politically charged riots rocked the city of Baltimore, one mother emerged as an unlikely hero and showed that sometimes discipline just has to happen in public.
If smacking your children is controversial and smacking in public even more so, then Toya Graham became the exception to the rule when she caught her 16-year-old boy about to take part in the unrest.
The footage of her dragging her son off by the ear became a viral sensation and saw her almost unanimously declared the world’s unofficial mother of the year.
Like it or not though, blasting misbehaving adults on social media has shown some positive results. Police are even turning to the web to help catch offenders – either through public assistance or sheer force of humiliation.
While the tactic has proven useful for law enforcement in tracking down criminals, it too has its downsides as a Melbourne woman found out last month.
After spotting a man acting suspiciously around her children, the concerned mother tailed him, took his photo and posted it to Facebook to warn others to be on the lookout.
The problem? The man was completely innocent. He had not been taking photos of her children but a photograph of himself with a Star Wars display for his own children.
By the time he noticed he had been accused of being a pedophile the photo had been shared thousands of times. Threats of legal action and belated apologies followed.
And then there is the darkest side of internet shaming – ritualised hazing. While some see it as a bit of good tradition bachelor’s party fun, other see images like this of a groom taped to a pole and pelted with eggs as unforgivable abuse.
While it is easy to congratulate some and condemn others, the question over when, where, why and how to use someone else’s images to make a point, get a result or draw a laugh are as vexed as they are potentially tragic.
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