At home with Colleen McCullough transcript
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Colleen McCullough Oh, it's going to beep at me. I hate new typewriters - they beep at me. I refuse to be beeped at by a piece of an animate object. There are two kinds of writers - those who write because they can't talk and those who write because they talk so much, nobody listens to them anymore. I'm the second type.
RAHNI SADLER: Colleen McCulloch - one minute at war...
Colleen McCullough: Drives me balmy!
RAHNI SADLER: ..and the next..
Colleen McCullough:(SINGS) # Summertime...
RAHNI SADLER: ..at peace.
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
and the cotton is high. #
RAHNI SADLER: There are many sides to Colleen McCulloch. She's full of surprises...
Your daddy's rich
and your ma is good lookin'
So hush, pretty baby,
don't you cry. #
RAHNI SADLER: ..just like this latest chapter
in her life.
England's leavings we may be. #
RAHNI SADLER: She's collaborating on a musical based on her novel 'Morgan's Run'. It's the story of a convict transported to a penal colony on Norfolk Island - the very same island that gave Colleen sanctuary from her sudden fame three decades ago. Tell me, what are the common misconceptions about Colleen McCulloch?
RAHNI SADLER: Hello?
Colleen McCullough: That you can front up to the front door and I'll offer you a cup of tea.
RAHNI SADLER: (LAUGHS) Do people do that?
Colleen McCullough: Yes.
RAHNI SADLER: You're kidding! What do they say?
Colleen McCullough: Hello! Can I come in? Are you going to give me a cup of tea?
RAHNI SADLER: And what do you say?
Colleen McCullough: No. (LAUGHS)
RAHNI SADLER: Australia's most successful female author is also arguably our most politically incorrect. She could write a book on it, starting with literary critics...
Colleen McCullough: Do I give a rat's ass about a little tight clique of literati? I don't.
RAHNI SADLER: ..then women's fashions...
Colleen McCullough: Oh, they dress like whores these days. I think it's disgusting.
RAHNI SADLER:..children...
Colleen McCullough: They're.....I just don't like 'em.
RAHNI SADLER: ..and the PM.
Colleen McCullough: Mrs Chook. (LAUGHS)
RAHNI SADLER: 'Mrs Chook' - is that what you call her?
RAHNI SADLER: At 74, Colleen is completely comfortable in her own skin but as a child growing up with her brother Karl in the town of Wellington in central New South Wales, the odds were stacked against her. She says her parents were cruel and distant. You weren't a huggy, kissy family?
Colleen McCullough: We never once, as children, were hugged or kissed. Never once. They were not proud of me at all.
RAHNI SADLER: Never congratulated you?
Colleen McCullough: No, never.
RAHNI SADLER: Not till the day they died?
Colleen McCullough: No.
RAHNI SADLER: Even though her parents never saw it, Colleen was hardwired to succeed but her path was an unlikely one. She became a neuroscientist, got a job teaching at Yale University in the United States. In her spare time, she wrote her first novel 'Tim' in 1974.
Film: What's your name?
Film: Tim.
Film: Oh, Tim Melville.
RAHNI SADLER: Did you always know you were going to be a success as a writer?
Colleen McCullough: Ah, that's a good question - I knew I was going to have
a good bash at it.
RAHNI SADLER: Three years later, she bashed out a literary classic, 'The Thorn Birds'.
Film: I never have what I want!
RAHNI SADLER: The epic story of forbidden love connected with readers
around the world and became an international best seller.
Colleen McCullough: Women always fall in love with an unattainable man. There's always - in every woman's life, there's an unattainable man. Some of them don't admit it but don't believe them.
RAHNI SADLER: An unattainable man in your life?
Colleen McCullough: I'm not admitting anything.
RAHNI SADLER: The 1983 TV miniseries was one of the highest rating ever.
Film: Forgive me.
Film: No.
Film: Damn you, no more!
RAHNI SADLER: Now, 'The Thorn Birds' miniseries wasn't something you particularly enjoyed.
Colleen McCullough: Oh, please, let's not talk about that.
RAHNI SADLER: What was the term you used for it?
Colleen McCullough: Instant vomit. Oh, horror! Let's leave that. Please.
RAHNI SADLER: Let's leave that one well alone. She didn't mind success but was uncomfortable with fame so she escaped to the isolation of Norfolk Island. It was here that her own love story was written with an unlikely hero. What's the best thing, do you reckon, that's happened to you in your life so far?
Colleen McCullough: Rick. Rick. I don't even have to think about that.
RAHNI SADLER: Rick is Rick Robinson. When they met, he was a local handyman.
Rick Robinson: While I was painting around the corner there, I heard this laugh coming down the corner and I thought, "That's a good sort." And I think
her laugh is fairly famous but that's what attracted me in the first place.
RAHNI SADLER: Colleen and Rick were married 28 years ago.
Colleen McCullough: Oh, you rotten sod. He does this all the time.
RAHNI SADLER: They're deeply in love and the best of friends except when they play Scrabble. To love, honour, obey and let him win at Scrabble.
Colleen McCullough: I don't let him win.
RAHNI SADLER: He beats you fair and square.
Colleen McCullough: He just wallops me.
RAHNI SADLER: Colleen and Rick live on a large estate and inside, there's an extensive library. Colleen, what are your favourite books to read?
Colleen McCullough: Um, I don't know because I have such eclectic tastes, I really do.
RAHNI SADLER: Her mind is as sharp as ever - it's her body that's been letting her down. Tell me about your health issues - you've been beset by a lot...
Colleen McCullough: Oh, my health issues are so boring! I had the big C 10, 12 years ago, beat it. I suppose you never beat it - it leaves you with terrible punishments. Ignore the walker. Ignore the cat, if he trips you up.
RAHNI SADLER: She survived cancer, is nearly blind, has osteoporosis, diabetes and a rare and painful nerve condition. Despite all the health issues, you still get a laugh out of life every day?
Colleen McCullough: Well, what's the point in moaning? I mean, it doesn't make you feel any better - it makes you feel worse. You may as well get as much out of life as you can because you're dead a bloody long time.
RAHNI SADLER: The wild isolation of her island home has provided Colleen
with both sanctuary and inspiration. Its brutal history as a penal colony is the setting for her novel "Morgan's Run' which brings composer Gavin Lockley
to Norfolk Island.
Colleen McCullough: I can hardly read the words so you yell at me if I...
Gavin Lockley: OK.
RAHNI SADLER: ..to collaborate on a musical based on the book.
Colleen McCullough: If you can just find something new or different to say.
Colleen McCullough: Which you don't, in those words.
RAHNI SADLER: Colleen's passion for words and Gavin's love of music don't always make for an easy collaboration.
Gavin Lockley: Yeah, that'll work.
Colleen McCullough: No.
Colleen McCullough: But you're always allowed to write words, Gavin, even if I don't let you have them!
RAHNI SADLER: But after months of work, the stage is set for a personal performance. Colleen loved it so much, she decided that if she was well enough, she'd go to the world premiere. The setting for 'Morgan's Run, the Musical' was the town of Springwood in the Blue Mountains. Hundreds turned up to see Colleen's words set to music.
MC: I'd like to welcome you to this, our world premiere.
ALL (SING): # England's leavings we may be. #
Colleen McCullough: Oh, I enjoyed it. It needs work, though.
RAHNI SADLER: It was a big night for Springwood but for Colleen, there's always room for improvement.
Colleen McCullough: It's got a long way to go.
RAHNI SADLER: So she's gone back to Norfolk Island, back to her troublesome typewriter...
Colleen McCullough: It's beeping at me! Rick, we've got to do something
about the beeps in this typewriter. They're driving me balmy. There are wires to cut!
RAHNI SADLER: ..where she's fixing her musical, writing murder mysteries
and still trying to beat Rick at Scrabble.
Colleen McCullough: Heave. Heaven.
RAHNI SADLER: Well, what's the Colleen McCulloch philosophy, then?
Colleen McCullough: You keep plugging on, of course. you'll get there. If you give up... ..you know, I'm not a believer in God but I will say this about God - the one thing that God hates is a quitter, so don't quit. That's the only thing. If there is a hell, the only people that are going to hell are the quitters.
