People Are Sharing How Many Pillows They Sleep With At Night And I Am Viscerally Concerned About Some Of These Answers

You know, sometimes I have the naive audacity to think certain topics are universally agreed upon and aren't up for debate. But then, I venture onto the internet, where I'm reminded that even a low-stakes topic can spawn the most heated argument with fiery passion.

person frustrated and looking at their laptop
Fizkes / Getty Images/iStockphoto

So, what are we squabbling about now? Today's dispute comes from this "Ask Reddit" thread where u/BipolarMindAtNotEase asked, "How many pillows do you sleep with and why?" Ironically, I'm going to lose sleep over these genuinely polarizing responses.

I stumbled into this discussion with one fact as my guiding light of truth: two pillows is the correct amount. Some people agreed with my correct opinion:

"Any answer that isn’t two is wild."


"Two. I prefer having my head a little propped up and two pillows just feels more comfy."


"Two. One under your head, and one to snuggle."


But, alas, some dark souled individuals make the conscious and concerning decision to sleep with just one, lone pillow fighting for its life. I just know in my heart that this can't be ideal for optimal comfy-coziness:

<div><p>"One. Why would I need more?"</p><p>—<a href="" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank" data-ylk="slk:u/Tessnham;elm:context_link;itc:0;sec:content-canvas" class="link ">u/Tessnham</a></p><p>"One. I have only one head."</p><p>—<a href="" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank" data-ylk="slk:u/Robothead-loner;elm:context_link;itc:0;sec:content-canvas" class="link ">u/Robothead-loner</a></p><p>"One, because I'm a basic bitch."</p><p>—<a href="" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank" data-ylk="slk:u/babyfresno77;elm:context_link;itc:0;sec:content-canvas" class="link ">u/babyfresno77</a></p></div><span> Nathamag11 / Getty Images/iStockphoto</span>

While I was still grappling with the reality of single pillow sleepers, I was hit with the news that there's an even more unnerving group of heathens who choose not only to sleep with one pillow, but one flat pillow:

"One. And it's a flat pillow."


"[One pillow] so flat that I could get by with folding up a bath towel and sticking it in a pillowcase."


But nothing prepared me for the fact that some people prefer to sleep with NO pillow AT ALL? They say that it's...more...comfortable?? I'm extremely skeptical, but they insist:

person shaking their head

As I slowly back away in fear from the zero pillow people, I'd like to take a moment to say that the luxurious slumberers could be onto something with their multiple cushion comfort, but it feels like overkill to me:

person saying, okay that's a bit much

Sure, it sounds cozy in theory to snooze in a pile of pillows, but I'd feel overcrowded and stressfully kick them off the bed in the middle of the night. I'm not the only one who thinks this bed-to-pillow ratio sounds out of whack:

"TBH, that sounds like a fire hazard."


"The thread is disturbing me. So many people sleep with so many pillows."


"Honestly, what do people need that many pillows for?"


The answer is clear. Whether you're laying back like a well-rested corpse on top of two stacked pillows, chillin' on your side with one pillow nestled softly under your head and the other snugged up — two pillows is the correct amount of pillows no matter what. I rest my (pillow)case.

homer simpson sleeping with 2 pillows and text reading how can you argue with this? exactly, you can't
20th Television / Via Disney +

You won't change my mind, but feel free to argue in the comments about how many pillows is the correct amount! 😴