The post, shared to X/Twitter over the weekend, was written by a 34-year-old man who asked readers for their judgement about whether he was an “a**hole” for being “disappointed” with the birthday cake his girlfriend made for him.
The man explained that his girlfriend, 36, offered to bake him a cake and he requested a chocolate cake with chocolate icing, also known as “Devil’s food cake”.
However, his partner may “have thought that wasn’t sophisticated enough” and baked him a “chocolate cake with vanilla icing between the two layers of cake [surrounded] in chocolate frosting”.
According to the post, the man was “disappointed because it was not what I wanted” and told his girlfriend as such when she noticed he appeared less than pleased with the cake.
“I said, ‘If I wanted vanilla in a cake, I would have asked for vanilla in the cake’,” he wrote. “I didn’t make a scene. I didn’t pout. I even ate half of a slice – the chocolate part.”
However, the man’s partner became upset with him as she had previously made a vanilla cake and he had liked it.
“I pointed out that I don’t mind vanilla icing, but it’s not what I wanted for my birthday. Her feelings were hurt and she even pulled a ‘I’m not going to make you any cake next year’, which I replied with, ‘I will order my own and get my money back if they don’t do it like I want it’,” he said.
But this remark was the “last straw” for his girlfriend, who asked him to leave her home and later texted him to tell him he had “embarrassed her in front of her kids”.
The man concluded his post: “I think birthdays are important things, and I feel like I was honest with her when she asked me. I didn’t want to lie about it. My friend told me I should have been grateful that she made me a cake at all, especially one that I’ve eaten and liked in the past.
“Maybe I overreacted a bit, though I don’t feel like I did, and hope to get a second opinion. [Am I the a**hole] here?”
If I ask for an all chocolate cake for my birthday and you put vanilla on it, I’m going to assume you’re a dumbass and you wanted to piss me off real bad
— ✨ (@Chaantellie) August 26, 2023
The post has ignited debate among X/Twitter users who are firmly divided between siding with the man and branding him as “ungrateful”.
“Why would you ask somebody what they want for their birthday, and after they tell you, give them something else? Also, why would you ask them for their honest opinion on the thing they did not explicitly ask for, and then throw a fit when they give you an honest answer?” one person questioned.
Another wrote: “She should’ve made him what he asked for? I would also be disappointed if I asked for something specific and didn’t get it on my birthday? Why ask me then?”
Some people suggested the man could have been on the autism spectrum due to his apparent reluctance to accept a cake that didn’t quite meet his expectations.
I hate when y’all make me agree w/ men. She wrong. That’s not what he asked for or wanted & he didn’t have to eat it. You should actually be able to tell your partner when you don’t like/want something & it be respected. Her little tantrum afterwards is childish & manipulative. https://t.co/zm5rpiH8uC
— I appreciate you. (@DeeLaSheeArt) August 26, 2023
“New autism test just dropped,” one user said. “Social norms say that you should pretend to like it, which is fair. Also, I f***ing hate vanilla icing, it is not the same thing as cake, and adding it when he asked for an all-chocolate cake is an actual sensory problem if you weren’t expecting it.”
But others pointed out that Devil’s food cake is usually made with chocolate cake and chocolate icing, but sometimes also features a layer of vanilla icing, and therefore, the man’s girlfriend did meet his request.
“An important detail of chocolate cake guy is that he asked for a kind of chocolate cake that has chocolate frosting and SOMETIMES, traditionally, an additional layer of vanilla frosting in the middle. There was also chocolate frosting,” one person wrote.
When your girlfriend bakes you a chocolate birthday cake but puts vanilla icing in it pic.twitter.com/dx3QAPaaxl
— Meech (@MediumSizeMeech) August 27, 2023
“So it was chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and an additional layer of vanilla and he was pouting over ALSO getting vanilla in front of the kids.”
Another said: “Stunned by replies insisting that a 34-year-old man was right. To sulk. And act out. In front of his girlfriend’s kids. About ICING. In a cake she made for him. Even though he liked it. Because ‘it’s not what I wanted’. Some of you must have a hard time getting through a day/life.”
According to some people watching the debate rage online, the post was taken too far, with one person commenting: “This whole thing is so unserious.”