Paulina Porizkova, 56, reflects on obsession with being perfect in stunning lingerie shoot: 'When I was the most seen, I was the most insecure'

·4-min read
Supermodel Paulina Porizkova, 56, reflected on her past obsession with perfection, and how she has come to be at peace with her body. (Photo: Gilbert Carrasquillo/FilmMagic)
Supermodel Paulina Porizkova, 56, reflected on her past obsession with perfection, and how she has come to be at peace with her body. (Photo: Gilbert Carrasquillo/FilmMagic)

At 56, Paulina Porizkova has found peace with her body.

The supermodel, who is known for frequently posting stunning photos of herself on her Instagram page, opened up about how she was consumed with achieving an impossible level of perfection when she was younger.

"When I was the most seen, I was the most insecure. My body and face were my capital, and held to ridiculous standards of perfection," explained Porizkova. Sporting just a black lingerie bodysuit and black patent leather heels, Porizkova smoldered for the camera, her blond hair worn in loose curls cascading down her face.

"When you’re constantly compared to other versions of perfection, your own will certainly be questioned. Instead of loving the body I was in, I was always vaguely ashamed that my legs weren’t as perfect as this one’s, my hips not as prettily round as this other one’s, my boobs not a big as that one’s. When the measure is perfection, no one can live up to it," she continued.

Porizkova continued, posting a quote from a book, On Living by Kerry Egan, to elaborate on how she wished she appreciated her body sooner.

“Second in intensity to the regret of hating their bodies is the wish of the dying that they had appreciated their bodies in the course of their lives," the blurb read.

Porizkova continued in her own words, saying that while appreciating one's body doesn't mean you have to post revealing photos of yourself, she wants to "celebrate" and "pay homage" to all her body has done.

"No, you don’t have to celebrate your body by posing in lingerie or nude, although it is a pretty good way to capture your beautiful hard-working body. But DO love it. Celebrate it. Pay homage to it. It’s the only one you have," she wrote.

Porizkova's journey to self-love has been an ongoing one. In 2018, her estranged husband, musician Ric Ocasek, passed away while the couple was in the process of divorcing. Porizkova, who only discovered after Ocasek's death that she had been cut out of his will, said she felt like a "treasured possession" who “construed his interest for love” throughout the controlling relationship.

"He didn't want me to do anything,” Porizkova explained on the podcast The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet, Yahoo Life previously reported. “He didn't want me to go anywhere. He wanted me to be within his circle at all times. I was his soul emotional provider for everything, and I confused that with love.”

Despite her outward sense of confidence, the way Ocasek treated her was "a collective thing that just stuck with me forever."

"I still feel that way, which, of course, is remarkable then that me, self-proclaimed feminist, goes and marries a guy who tells her how to dress,” she shared.

These days, the model says she dressing for herself.

"When I was younger, I put on lingerie for HIM. Now I dress in lingerie for ME," she wrote in a similar post earlier this month. "No, I no longer have the suppleness of youth, but I have the softness of maturity. My eyes may not be as clearly defined or wide, but they see so much more. My lips may not be as full, but they are far more willing to speak truths and laugh without restraint. My hair is no longer brown, but the softening silver strands add interest and contrast. My skin no longer reflects light like a polished mirror, instead it gathers it, and puts it inside my heart, where it warms and makes me shine. I celebrate me, my body and the things it can do and feel. (So what — a little hip arthritis…) And mourn the years I lost to be able to fully appreciate it. I’ve never liked the way I look more than I do today. (The other stuff is still work in progress.) And THAT’S why I wear lingerie."

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