No escaping royal wedding fever in the US

Peter Mitchell
Will Ferrell as Cord Hosenbeck and Molly Shannon as Tish Cattigan will host the wedding for HBO

Musket-carrying Americans may have chased the British out of the Thirteen Colonies more than 230 years ago, but that has not destroyed their appetite for a royal wedding.

Prince Harry's wedding to Meghan Markle is big news in the US.

Australians thinking about fleeing to a republic like the US to avoid talk about the nuptials shouldn't bother.

Sure, Markle is a Los Angeles-born actress so there is that strong Americana angle to the event, but that does not really matter.

The 36-year-old bride-to-be could be Shazza from Wagga Wagga and the Yanks would still tune in.

As we all know America is a weird place so we shouldn't be surprised Americans love a British royal wedding.

The National Enquirer devoted its front page this week to a big headline and photo of Markle.

"FOUND! MAN-EATER MEGHAN'S SECRET FIRST HUBBY!" the Enquirer screamed.

US TV show hosts across the TV spectrum from Good Morning America to CNN really love royal weddings because it not only offers the opportunity to score a gig to London, but they get to say the word "fascinator".

They are fascinated by fascinators and, when presenting a story on the British tend to don fascinators and attempt ordinary English accents ('ello, gov'nor).

On NBC's Today show they had a segment titled "American v Royal Wedding Traditions" analysing the contrasting clobber female guests wear to US and a British royal weddings.

"Connie is showing a little bit of leg and she is also carrying her clutch under her arm which is the American style," Today viewers, no doubt sitting on the edges of their couches in excitement and taking notes, were told.

If you have an invite to Harry and Meghan's Windsor Castle shindig apparently you should have your knees covered and wear closed toe shoes.

Over on rival morning show Good Morning America viewers had a "How to copy Meghan Markle's favourite workout" segment.

The downside for royal wedding-loving Americans is the timing.

It sucks, particularly in Meghan's former home town of LA with the ceremony scheduled to begin 4am Saturday.

The hour is friendlier for New Yorkers and other east coast residents, with Meghan and Harry walking down the aisle at breakfast-friendly 7am.

Perhaps the biggest dilemma for American royalists is deciding what channel to watch the wedding.

All four free-to-air TV networks - NBC, ABC, CBS and FOX - are broadcasting live, along with PBS, E!, CNN, HLN and, not surprisingly, BBC America.

Many are sending crews and hosts to head their telecasts, so "royal experts" with British accents (or Aussie, Kiwi or South African because Americans largely can't distinguish the difference) will be in big demand to fill the hours of air time.

Perhaps the best American way to watch the wedding is on HBO where comedian Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon are doing a Roy and HG style spoof broadcast as cheesy "Pasadena broadcast legends Cord Hosenbeck and Tish Cattigan".

The show is titled "The Royal Wedding Live With Cord and Tish!"

It might be worth waking up at 4am.

Nah. I'll DVR it.