'Demonic': Brutally honest ad to find new owner for 'gremlin' dog
When volunteer animal carer Tyfanee Fortuna first met Prancer the chihuahua she said she knew he would be a problem.
“Prancer came to me obese, wearing a cashmere sweater, with a bacon, egg 'n' cheese [roll] stuffed in his crate with him,” Ms Fortuna wrote on Facebook along with several photos of the tiny dog seeking a very understanding owner to adopt him.
“There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man-hating, animal-hating, children-hating dogs that look like gremlins. But I have to believe there’s someone out there for Prancer."
Although Prancer was shy at first, Ms Fortuna said it took him about a week at his temporary home in New Jersey to come out of his shell and reveal his true personality "aka a neurotic mess" that will take a very patient and understanding person to love.
“I am convinced at this point he is not a real dog, but more like a vessel for a traumatised Victorian child that now haunts our home,” Ms Fortuna explained.
Ms Fortuna believes the reason for Prancer's personality is partly due to his previous owner who didn't socialise him with other dogs and also due to his breed.
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"Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home. If you own a chihuahua you probably know what I’m talking about."
The creative wordsmith’s Facebook post has received almost 60,000 comments and more than 32,000 reactions from people equally horrified and intrigued by Prancer.
However to adopt the “Chucky doll in a dog's body”, Ms Fortuna cautions there are several requirements Prancer has for his new parents.
Some important things to know about Prancer the chihuahua
“He’s never been in the presence of a child, but I can already imagine the demonic noises and shaking fury that would erupt from his body if he was... Prancer wants to be your only child.”
“Prancer only likes women. Nothing else. He hates men more than women do, which says a lot. If you have a husband don’t bother applying, unless you hate him.”
“Have other dogs? Cats? Don’t apply unless they like being shaken up like a ragdoll by a 13lb (6kg) rage machine.”
For all of Prancer’s mischievous qualities, Ms Fortuna believes the little guy still has a lot to offer.
“He is loyal beyond belief, although to tell you a secret his complex is really just a facade for his fear,” Ms Fortuna wrote.
“If someone tried to kill you I can guarantee he would run away screeching. But as far as companionship, you will never be alone again.
“He likes to go for car rides, he is housebroken, he knows a few basic commands, he is quiet and non-destructive when left alone at home, and even though we call him Bologna face he is kind of cute to look at.”
Prancer proudly holds the title of “most terrible dog” at the Second Chance Pet Adoption League. He is two years old, but “will probably live to be 21 through pure spite” and is ready to be loved for who he really is.
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