'My best friend had sex with my ex-boyfriend, am I allowed to be mad?'
Angie Kent is one of Australia’s favourite TV personalities, from the Gogglebox couch to The Bachelorette mansion she’s always got something to say. She's now here answering all your burning questions about your sex life.
Question: My best friend had sex with my ex-boyfriend, am I allowed to be mad?
Firstly, I want to start off by saying that being mad is just a feeling.
Just like feeling happiness, sadness, jealousy, excitement, betrayal etc. You have every single right to feel your feelings. That is what makes you a living breathing functioning human! You don’t know happiness without feeling sadness right? So be as mad as you God-damn-well-want.
Go absolutely off if you see fit. Punch sh*t. Get a little voodoo doll and stab little pins into the voodoo doll and say all the things you want to say to the both of them through that little tiny stupid voodoo doll and then throw that little voodoo doll into a bin and then scream into that bin some more. Profanities, the works.
You are entitled to feel your feels as they arise. There is nothing wrong with feeling proper cross. Just like the good people of the planet say ... You gotta feel it, to heal it. If you bottle that sh*t up, it is just going to turn into some long-standing resentment. And resentment and anger can turn gross for yourself ... Holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to experience the effects of said poison. It is a waste of time and pain only for yourself in the long run.
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I reckon, think about it for a good few weeks. Think every thought you want to think, write it all down, picture every scenario in your head so you physically can’t think about it anymore and then, let it go. You deserve to feel whatever comes up for you but you also deserve to let it go.
To be honest, it’s an extremely crook move that your best friend did in my opinion. I semi expect that kind of sellout behaviour from the ex, but not from a best friend. I don’t know any of you at all, and by no means am I a professional or an expert in relationships (look at my very public dating history that was televised for your entertainment). But I do know one thing, that none of my best friends would ever have sex with any of my ex-boyfriends! And that’s not just because there ain’t that many at all for them to choose from ... but just because my best friends are little earth angels and no d*ck is worth the relationship we share as soulmates.
I believe that friends are the family we choose with our heart in each life. So if that’s the case, you can now choose to maybe give that friendship a little breather and focus on your healing. Give old mate the flick because boyfriends come and go and he’s an ex for a reason, so bye Felicia the s**t out of him. There’s plenty more deeply average fellas out there so don’t be in a rush. Give yourself the space, then chat with your best friend and if the friendship is worth it ... You’ll both bounce back.
If you don’t want to forgive her actions, just forgive her for yourself ... apparently forgiveness is great for cholesterol levels and sleep. Don’t give anyone EVER the power to f**k with your sweet sweet sleep or those cholesterol levels. That’s yours. As The Chores once sang so beautifully, ‘You’re forgiven, not forgotten’. If you don’t know that song, because it is one thousand years old, Google it. It may help with the healing process. Actually don’t, I just looked up the lyrics and it’s way more morbid than I remembered.
Protect your peace Queen! X
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