Mom-to-be is horrified by partner’s selfish birth request: ‘[He] wants me to have a C-section so our sex life isn’t ‘ruined’

·5-min read

A mom-to-be was so offended by her partner’s C-section request that she kicked him out — and now her story is going viral on Reddit.

Posted to the subreddit r/TwoXChromosomes, the story has been upvoted over 34,000 times and has garnered nearly 3,000 replies.

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Reddit user elkatiuskas explained in her post: “At first I thought it was a ‘joke’ but when I saw he was serious, I was offended to my core (not that a ‘joke’ like would be ok).

“I’m shocked because he’s always portrayed himself to be a feminist, so a comment like that was very weird. But he insisted that the last thing he wants is for our sex live to be ‘ruined’ because I’ll never be as tight as I’m now and he had the f****** b**** to lecture me that ‘for this relationship to work, you have to make sacrifices.’

“I told him not gonna happen and he said I’m being selfish and this is proof I can’t put his needs above mine. I’m the breadwinner and I’m supporting him while he makes his jarrarium business take off, because he refuses to get a paying job and wants to pursue his passion. I understand this and tried to be supportive.

“A few months ago he asked to move in with me because his parents were ‘smothering’ him. While I work 10 hour shifts, he doesn’t cook, clean, run errands, nothing. I pay for our bills, rent, food, gas for his car and his jarrarium supplies.

“Excuse me but if this isn’t being the very definition of a supportive girlfriend I don’t know what is. So that comment was the last straw. That that’s his main concern and hill to die on was appalling.

“So I kicked him out. I love him, he may be a parasite, as my sister says, but I truly thought I was helping someone pursue their passion. I don’t think he was taking advantage of me with malice, he was always a momma’s boy and living with me was easy for him because, like at his mom’s place, here he didn’t have to do laundry, cook, pay bills, etc.

“But I’m done. I deserve better. I deserve a real partner who helps out and [whose] main concern isn’t my vagina’s ‘tightness,’ not a grown man-child to take care of. I’m still in love with him but I’ll get over it. I just don’t want him as my partner anymore.

“Edit – Since this is creating a lot of interest, a jarrarium (r/Jarrariums) is a a micro-aquarium, a totally self-sustaining ecosystem (unlike my now-ex) built in a small container like a jar or fish bowl.”

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‘Please consider not putting this doofus on the birth certificate…’

Thousands upon thousands of Reddit users jumped in to share their horrified reactions to the OP’s story.

“A C-section is major surgery. He’s literally asking you to have major, invasive surgery with known health and safety complications because he’s afraid not doing so might make the sex marginally less good. I was hospitalized after an emergency C-section for infection and renal failure,” one user commented.

“This person is not a long-term partner. He is looking at what he can get out of the relationship right now. Building a life together means embracing the fact that both of you will change, emotionally, spiritually and physically. If he’s so concerned with anatomy staying the way it is then he should marry a flesh light,” another user wrote.

“When I had my first child, my then-husband asked my male OB to ‘put an extra stitch’ when he was sewing me back up after delivery. The jerk actually did and after that intercourse was exceptionally painful for me until I had my second child. Of course I ripped again when I had my second but thankfully my female OB sewed me up properly that time. So yeah, glad you decided you are better off without that guy,” shared another user.

“Please consider not putting this doofus on the birth certificate. If you’re the breadwinner, and he gets joint custody, you may need to pay him child support. You may think he doesn’t want to be involved and what’s the harm, but if he works out you may have to pay him (and his Mum would just raise your child when it’s his turn), he may go for it,” another user commented.

“…The baby is going to have a much bigger impact on their sex life than the relative ‘tightness’ of her vagina,” commented another user.

“That’s not how vaginas and giving birth works. If he is that ignorant then he shouldn’t be having sex. The gall to say that to the woman carry[ing] his child is beyond the pale. Keep him out of your home and never spend a dime on him again,” wrote another user.

While many users were taken aback by the OP’s selfish partner, many were heartened to know that she had parted ways with him despite any residual feelings she may harbor. 

After all, when it comes to bringing a baby into this world, it’s important to do so with a strong, healthy support system — and to kick any toxic, selfish presences to the curb. 

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