Michael Chakraverty: ‘It's Isolating If You Can't Voice Who You Are'
Michael Chakraverty’s first recollection of feeling lonely was just before he came out as gay, seven years ago, while studying at university.
“I felt unable to talk to people, even though I was surrounded by them,” he tells HuffPost UK. “Feeling lonely in a group of people is really isolating.”
He knew his friends would support him and his sexuality, but he didn’t want to burden them with the “confusing, difficult feelings” in his head – and he didn’t even know how to express those feelings. The result? Crippling loneliness.
“It can be isolating if you can’t voice who you are or how you’re feeling,” he says. “That’s one of the main times I remember feeling a barrier between me and other people.” In reality, of course, those people were more than happy to help share his burden and talk, but he didn’t feel, or know, that at the time.
Is this a common experience among the LGBTQ community, loneliness before coming out? Chakraverty thinks so. “The community feels that a lot, because it’s not seen as normal yet – boys don’t go around kissing boys on the playground, and girls don’t go around kissing girls – therefore exploring those parts of your personality can’t happen outwardly, so generally happen inwardly.”
Related
Chakraverty used to think loneliness simply meant being alone, but he now realises it’s more about a lack of human connection. “You can be a positive, fun, bubbly person and feel lonely as well,” he says.
Despite describing himself as quite a happy person, Chakraverty identifies periods of loneliness as times when he doesn’t feel a connection to people, where he’s unable to ground himself, “and if I’m unable to ground myself I can quite easily let my thoughts spiral out of control.”
When the 26-year-old starred in Bake...
