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Men Are Sharing The Specific Reasons They Don't Want To Get Married, And Several Are Eye-Opening

Marriage isn't for everyone. According to studies, 38% of people are not looking to walk down the aisle anytime soon — or even at all. Times have changed, and today's generation doesn't feel the need to follow some traditions, such as marriage.

two hands next to a contract with wedding bands
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I came across this thread where a redditor asked men why they don't want to get married. The thread was filled with many thought-provoking, and honestly, quite shocking responses. Here is what some had to say.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. 

1."I think growing up around miserable married people made me reconsider the idea of marriage for myself. It’s not something I want or need."


Bride with wedding ring holding hand of groom at table
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2."I was married before. I found out the hard way that you can't necessarily trust anyone to prioritize your interests just because they vowed to."


3."I've never seen a marriage that I've thought, 'I'd like me one of those, please.' I've seen my parents and friends' marriages end in divorce. The friends who are still married are constantly fighting and arguing over petty things. So I think those are the main contributors to my negative outlook. It's also that weddings cost so much money. Spending $20k on a single day? No thanks."


a groom and bride exchanging wedding bands
Anna Blazhuk / Getty Images

4."It creates a contractual agreement between two parties that either party can withdraw from the contract at any time. However, the less well-off party can have the state order the more well-off party to give a substantial amount of income to them just because they decided to void the contract. If you did not describe this as marriage, any lawyer would tell you to run. I have no desire to involve the state in my relationship just to hand someone a tool to ruin my life with."


5."I've seen marriages fail all around me. My mom is not happy in hers, but she has her own issues. My friend who didn't want to get married or have kids at first got married, had a kid, wife cheated on him with two different men, and they got divorced. He's paying child support and is starting to think his kid isn't his. He's afraid to take a paternity test but knows he should. That alone was enough of a reason."


6."I don't want to get married or have a partner because I am an introvert, and I find peace in solitude. Also, I don't really get lonely so I don't feel the overwhelming need to find someone. I have nothing against marriage or dating, though. When I get old and weak, I take the first bus home."


7."Marriage is an archaic social construct. Even the arbitrary steps to getting married are ridiculous and all for social acceptance and validation. Expensive engagement ring, engagement, bachelor/bachelorette parties, wedding shower, expensive wedding, and reception, honeymoon. You don’t need any of that shit to simply love your partner."

a hand holding an engagement ring
John Slater / Getty Images

8."I love my significant other, but marriage itself has literally no perks in my eyes. What does it give me that my current relationship status does not?"


9."Most of the women I know seem to view marriage as an opportunity for social media photos rather than a real commitment. Combine that with the family court's hostility toward men, and it's just a recipe for disaster. Plus, I've heard 'forever' from too many women to believe it anymore."

a bride and wedding guests around her taking a selfie
Pixdeluxe / Getty Images

10."It's pretty simple — as a legal and social institution, I think it’s bullshit, and there’s no real reason to do it. That doesn’t mean I’m opposed to finding a woman I love and staying with her for a long time. I’m just not gonna legally bind myself to her or throw an expensive party."


11."I don't know if this applies to me. When I was younger, all I wanted was to be a good husband and a good father. Then I got married and had a kid. While I love being a dad to my now grown child and feel like I stuck the landing on the whole 'good father' bit, the same cannot be said for the 'good husband' portion of my aspirations. I mean, I wasn't a bad husband by any stretch, but I and the ex-wife were a train wreck together. Our marriage ended after only a few years. I initially assumed I'd eventually remarry. Even came close with my last girlfriend. I poured everything I had into that relationship. Gave her all I had to give, and it still wasn't enough. After all that, the idea of being married again, or even sharing time with a woman, or being part of a couple again is the last thing I want. The last thing I plan to ever do again."


12."It never interested me. When I was a kid, I would just parrot whatever my peers, relatives, and siblings would say regarding marriage, but it was only when I was older did I realize that I had no desire whatsoever. My parents have been married for nearly 40 years, and my brother is married, but I never saw anything about married life that I genuinely wanted. I always felt I was destined for more in life than just pair bonding or procreating."


13."For men, marriage is like having a nice cushy corporate job with a corner office and accepting a promotion. Only, after accepting the promotion, do you find that you lose the corner office and are placed back in the bullpen. You also have to work twice as hard for half the pay."

"Then, one must consider divorce where a man can, and most often will, lose his house and half his stuff. There is an overall divorce rate of around 60%, with about 80% of them being initiated by the wife.

Even without marrying, a man must consider the common law marriage laws of their state. Common law marriage laws were instituted as a reaction to men not wanting to marry. They give women the advantages of marriage dissolution without any of the responsibilities that come with a prior marriage. Under common law marriage, women can sue for divorce and take half of the man's stuff. In some states, cohabitation isn't even required for common law marriage laws to kick in."


14."When you actually try to be the good guy your entire life, all the women you have met let you down. A successful marriage is based on the probability of her happiness. You are doomed to fail. Met a man who is eight years divorced. He is the happiest man I have ever seen. He doesn't even let his girlfriend live with him. Lives on another island to prevent any cohabitation laws from coming into effect for her to be entitled to his stuff. That's how bad marriage can be and his aversion to it. Having gone through it, there is no such thing as prenup in my country, and alimony is life. No fault state, too. How bad can you get? Literally, cheat and be rewarded."

a wedding cake split in half
Rubberball / Getty Images

15."That’s a lot of faith to put into another person. The divorces I’ve seen and the devastation around them remind me such faith is misplaced."


Do you have anything to add to this list? If so, share it with me in the comments below!

A man sitting in a coffee shop
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