Mel Greig: Married men you’ve been put on notice

Why am I seeing an increase of married men sliding into my DMs (direct messages) on Instagram?

With such a high number of messages from married men on Instagram, I had to sit back and ask myself “Ok, is this completely innocent? Are men so naive when it comes to social media? Or is it actually ok for a married man to write me a message saying ‘Nice Boobs’?” – I don’t need to be a psychologist to know that the last one is absolutely inappropriate.

I held a survey on my Insta-story and asked my near 13,000 followers, ‘Is it innocent for a married man to DM a random girl or comment on her body?’ 11% of people said it was innocent and a whopping 89% said it was not innocent behaviour, implying the person is up to no good.

I had a handful of married men reach out with their opinion as well. One, in particular, said it was completely innocent and I went back through his messages to me and his last two comments were about my body. He said he was just trying to make me feel good and that his wife wouldn’t care that he was ogling over someone else’s body. I told him that I found it inappropriate.

Another guy was really honest and said that he was testing the waters, to see how he’d feel if he did, in fact, reach out and start a conversation with another woman – would he feel guilty? And the answer was yes because he had no other reason to message me other than to be flirty. He made a good point though, had he messaged me with a purpose that would be different.

I have seen first hand in my own marriage how social media can play a part in affairs and sadly it’s becoming all too familiar. I spoke to Jenny Douglas from Relationships Australia who confirmed that social media is presenting more cases of infidelity and couples seeking counselling.

She went on to say that social media blurs the boundary between appropriate interaction between two strangers. They don’t see it as reality. If you ran into a woman in the street you wouldn’t say to her, ‘Nice body, I like your boobs’ because if you did you would see their body language and know that the person feels uncomfortable.

Another guy came forward and said that ‘liking’ a sexy picture on Instagram was the modern way of ‘perving’ down the street. It’s easy to perv and make eye contact and basically by liking a photo on Instagram you are essentially doing the same in the sense you’re letting them know that you find them attractive.

Apparently, that’s irrelevant as to whether you are single or not, married males and females quite happily perv on strangers in real life so why can’t they do it online?

So, where exactly do we draw the line? Does a married man really need to send a message to a woman he’s never met? What is the purpose of that? You will achieve nothing other than causing dishonesty in your relationship and leave someone feeling uncomfortable.

Just because I post a photo where I’m displaying cleavage doesn’t mean I’m inviting you to comment on it, I dress for me and dressing provocatively isn’t an invitation for unwanted attention online or in real life.

So my message to all the married men sliding into other women’s DM’s and paying them unwanted attention, how about you focus on your wife and put the attention where it’s needed.

To all the Married men sliding into another woman’s DM’s and paying them unwanted attention . . . how about you focus on sliding into your wife and put the attention where it’s needed.

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