Danny Grey had endured a shocker of a day so set about getting his hands on a dozen Domino’s churros in a ploy to cheer himself up and celebrate his weekend birthday early.
Arriving at the franchise’s Casey store in Canberra on Wednesday afternoon, he stood “a broken shell of man” and placed his order of 12 churros and a thick shake, predicting the “inevitable self-loathing” that was likely to follow.
Mr Grey had earlier dealt with the painful inconvenience of a malfunctioning bank card, a broken-down car, and wasting an hour navigating the MyGov website trying to submit his tax return.
“As far as years go, 2020 has consistently set the bar very high for what constitutes a bad day. Then yesterday came along and said ‘hold my beer’,” he told Yahoo News Australia.
Looking forward to his approaching birthday and spending quality time with his daughter, Mr Grey’s internal monologue decided it was non-negotiable that the celebrations be kicked off early.
“I decided, ‘why wait ‘til the weekend to celebrate’, and ventured out on foot to buy me some churros. As my mood sank, the amount of churros I ordered in my head increased,” he said.
Finally he “crossed the threshold” and ordered his sugary meal, but in an undoubtedly fortunate turn of events, the Domino’s employee inadvertently entered a different number of churros into the computer than the 12 he was expecting.
He later expressed his gratitude to the worker in a hilarious tongue-in-cheek post to a local community Facebook group.
“I like to believe that you acted in my best interests, and sensing my distraction, only put four [churros] on the order,” he wrote, comically suggesting the employee processed a fraction of his churros order on purpose.
It was a move motivated by the worker’s desire to “save me from the inevitable self-loathing that would accompany the carb coma from eating a dozen churros for dinner, and washing it down with an artery congealing shake”, according to Mr Grey.
He jokingly explained how indebted he felt after having his dinner cut by a third, saying the employee, who had mistakenly called him Dave instead of Danny, went “above and beyond the call of duty to protect me from myself and from temptation”.
“And from the inevitable meltdown and tears in front of the bedroom mirror as I body-shamed myself uttering phrases like, ‘look at yourself fatty ... You disgust me’, after having eaten all the churros.”
In the post, Mr Grey cheekily suggested that the employee saw his greying hair and ringless finger, and recognised the order of 12 churros as “the cry for help it was”.
He told Yahoo News Australia he had been out of work due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and come Wednesday, there seemed to be nothing going his way.
“Sometimes from the moment you open your eyes, the endless possibilities of a new day spring forth at you, and you know it's going to be a great day. Then you have yesterday,” he said.
While his story was a comical take on some genuine struggles – no doubt currently being faced by thousands across the country – Mr Grey clarified that in reality, he was doing relatively fine.
“Times are hard for all of us. This post isn't a cry for help, just a humorous recollection of a situation I experienced yesterday afternoon,” he said.
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