Kate Silverton on why she had therapy when she started dating her husband

·4-min read
Kate Silverton finally walked down the aisle with Mike Heron in 2010 (image: Getty Images)
Kate Silverton finally walked down the aisle with Mike Heron in 2010 (image: Getty Images)

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When Kate Silverton walked down the aisle with Mike Heron in 2010, it was a wedding that almost didn’t happen. The BBC broadcaster had dated Heron on an off over the previous years and it was only thanks to a therapist that she decided to plump permanently for the former Royal Marine.

Speaking on White Wine Question Time, she said at the time she was dating two men and couldn’t decide on who to choose so rang her therapist for help.

Read more: Denise Van Outen on how therapy has brought her closer to her partner, Eddie

“I was such a commitment-phobe!” she exclaimed. 

“I went to a therapist, I said,’ Look, seriously, I've got these men, I can't choose between them’. And this voice at the other end of the phone said: ‘My dear, the problem is not with them, it’s with you!’”

Watch: Kate Silverton on being held hostage by the man that would become her husband

The broadcaster, who is currently training to become a children’s counsellor and is a big advocate of having therapy, said the one thing stopping her was whether she could trust her intuition that Heron was in fact the one.

“I've had lovely, lovely boyfriends, but there was always this sort of where's the? And will I know it when I meet him?” she told podcast host Kate Thornton.

She continued: “I think when I met Mike I knew. I just knew, but that scared me. I think that's kind of where the confusion was. It was like how can I trust this feeling?

"Here was this man and we seemed worlds apart — where we came from and everything — and that I just knew that I sort of needed that confidence. I needed to understand why my reticence was there, so that was what was really sort of helpful with going into therapy.”

Listen: Kate Silverton reveals her worries about the mental health of our kids post pandemic in the latest episode of White Wine Question Time

The couple met when Silverton underwent hostage training before heading out to Iraq. During the training session, Heron had his future wife hooded, bound and thrown into the back of a car.

While it was a memorable first meeting, the couple’s relationship didn’t get off to a smooth start and they dated on and off for a while. Luckily for Silverton, her husband-to-be was patient with her anxieties about their future together.

“Thankfully, my gorgeous hubby sort of got it,” she said.

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“That whole thing of when you love someone, you set them free ­— and so he set me free and kind of just went ‘Do your thing, when you're ready...’

“Thankfully, I sort of understood what it was that had been sending me off all over the place, and I made that commitment. We've never looked back, he is my soulmate, and I'm hugely grateful.”

Kate Silverton said it took therapy to help her realise that husband Mike was the one for her
Kate Silverton said it took therapy to help her realise that husband Mike was the one for her

Silverton recreated her wedding day photos last year with her husband ten years after walking down the aisle, says she’s written about her relationship and hopes to publish it as a novel sometime soon to help other young women going through similar issues.

She says her therapist gave her the best advice, namely to look at the stuff your partner does, as opposed to the stuff he doesn’t do.

“She said to me: ‘The problem is, you're looking at what he doesn't do, not what he does.’” she told Thornton.

Read more: Diana's wedding dress maker shared secret message with princess before sending her down the aisle

“And when we looked at what my gorgeous hubby did do, it was all the big stuff. Getting up at three o'clock in the morning, when I was on breakfast, making me tea. He literally said to me once 'I would walk over broken glass to come and get you if you ever needed me’

“That's what I think sometimes we lose sight of the people who really have the most care for us. There's that element where we probably put people in boxes and we sort of say what he's not doing, and actually, I realised that I'd be happy living in a tent with Mike in a field than in a mansion with the with the wrong person.”

Hear Kate Silverton talk about the news events that have left a lasting impression on her during the latest episode of White Wine Question Time. Listen now on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Buy it: There's No Such Thing As Naughty by Kate Silverton | £11.58 from Amazon

There's No Such Thing As Naughty by Kate Silverton
There's No Such Thing As Naughty by Kate Silverton

Watch: Kate Silverton on her struggle to conceive children