Advertisement

Woman reveals how 'addiction' saved her life

A woman who walked in on her mother’s suicide attempt and lost her father to alcohol addiction has revealed how she turned her life around after suffering a traumatic upbringing.

Alexa Towersey, now one of Australia’s leading personal trainers and lifestyle coaches, is sharing her story to coincide with Mental Health Month in the hope those struggling will be inspired to speak up.

Despite being an internationally published sports model and celebrity trainer, Ms Towersey has experienced her own struggles.

Growing up with parents in the military she was often forced to move – from England, Ireland, Germany to New Zealand and Hong Kong before settling in Sydney five years ago.

At the tender age of 15, Ms Towersey’s life began to come crashing down. Her mother was diagnosed with manic depression, now more commonly referred to as bi-polar, and she was bullied at school for being too skinny, with classmates dubbing her “Alexa Anorexic”.

Alexa Towersey says it's not weak to speak up about mental health. Source: Instagram
Alexa Towersey says it's not weak to speak up about mental health. Source: Instagram

“Overnight my entire life changed,” she told Yahoo News Australia.

“My mother essentially became a stranger to me. My dad didn’t know who she was half the time, and mum didn’t know who she was.

“I didn’t know what to do, or what to say, so I did nothing at all. Looking back now, that affected my relationship with her and my dad and I never spoke about it.

“I truly believe if we had the education and awareness it would have enabled me to support her and love her.”

Walking in on mum’s suicide attempt

When Ms Towersey was 17 and two weeks out from sitting her university entrance exam, she experienced something no child should ever have to witness.

After two years of struggling with her bi-polar, Ms Towersey’s mother attempted suicide and her daughter walked in.

“In that moment I was heartbroken. I had no idea she felt that was her only option,” she said.

“To think she was that alone and had to go to those lengths – it took me a long time to really forgive myself.”

Alexa Towersey says the gym helped save her life. Source: Instagram
Alexa Towersey says the gym helped save her life. Source: Instagram

Ms Towersey said that moment changed the dynamic in her entire family and her mother was put on a cocktail of psychotics and steroids.

Her father became an alcoholic to cope, drinking a bottle or two of whiskey a day. Ms Towersey herself started developing her own addiction to alcohol by sneaking some of her dad’s stash.

She did however start going to the gym, initially to build muscle after school bullies crumbled her self-esteem, but she soon discovered if she was feeling physically strong, she would have strong thoughts.

“I look back and wonder what I’d be doing now if I hadn’t found the gym,” she said.

‘I drank because I wanted to get drunk’

Despite Ms Towersey regularly attending the gym, she claims she was living a double life, balancing her active lifestyle with her alcohol addiction.

“One was empowering me while one was enabling me,” she said.

She was binge drinking every weekend and would live through “self-loathing Sundays” every week.

“I would wake up and hate myself,” she said.

“I’d be sick, have a sinking feeling in my stomach – did I say something I’d regret? Did I tell any secrets? What are these bruises from?”

Ms Towersey said she would blackout, have no memory of getting home and would put herself in dangerous positions. But it took her another five years before she quit drinking.

“I drank because I wanted to get drunk, it’s what my family taught me,” she said.

Her mum eventually passed away when she turned 27 and two years later her dad died from his alcoholism.

On one of the last Christmases she spent with her father he told her he wished he could tell her he loved her enough to stop drinking.

“That’s something you never expect to hear,” she said.

“I realised there was not going to be a happy ending like in the movies.”

Alexa Towersey has been sober for 11 years after hitting rock bottom. Source: Instagram
Alexa Towersey has been sober for 11 years after hitting rock bottom. Source: Instagram

Living in Hong Kong at the time, Ms Towersey flew to New Zealand for the funeral where she drank her father’s last remaining bottle of whiskey.

“I got off my chops,” she said.

Ms Towersey then and there made the decision she did not want to end up like her family.

“A sad fact of life is people need a defining moment or hit rock bottom to make that change. My epiphany was my dad’s death,” she said.

‘I replaced one addiction with another but it saved my life’

Ms Towersey was 29 when she quit alcohol for good, and while she’s faced challenges in the process, she’s now stronger than ever.

“It was social suicide. I remember trying to go out sober and it was confronting for people – they feel you are indirectly challenging their life choices. They would say, ‘have just one drink’ and ‘don’t be boring’,” she said.

“I was working at a gym at the time with a girl who had been in drug and alcohol rehabilitation and was four years sober. She told me I needed to find another goal so trained for a half Ironman, got in with a triathlon club, hired a coach and learnt how to swim.

“When everyone was partying I was going for six-hour bike rides.

“I didn’t need to drink anymore and it was one thing that got me through it. I replaced one addiction with another but it saved my life.”

Alexa Towersey now has a column in the newly launched STRONG magazine. Source: Supplied
Alexa Towersey now has a column in the newly launched STRONG magazine. Source: Supplied

‘Sharing your story can start a conversation’

Mr Towersey now has her own column addressing mental health in new fitness magazine STRONG, which was launched in Australia on October 3.

As well as being an ambassador with mental health organisation Livin, Ms Towersey will feature in the bi-monthly magazine to help inspire those struggling to speak up.

The STRONG Wellness RX section will feature first-person storytelling while Ms Towersey will cover her own tale of resilience.

“I couldn’t think of a more incredible gift,” she said.

“I get this platform to share stories, let people know they’re not alone.

“It’s not weak to speak up. You have to go through the hard times sometimes to learn how strong you are and how much resilience you have.”

Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

Do you have a story tip? Email: newsroomau@yahoonews.com.

You can also follow us on Facebook and Twitter, download the Yahoo News app from the App Store or Google Play and stay up to date with the latest news with Yahoo’s daily newsletter. Sign up here.