Advertisement

HPV Stigma Made Me Feel Alone When I Had Cervical Cancer. That Has To Change

Getty Images
Getty Images

When you’re told you have cancer, you ask yourself a lot of questions. How did this happen? Is there a reason? Why me? But when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer when I was 44, I faced another, unexpected question: how was I going to tell everyone I had cancer because of a virus I got through sex?

The first time I had ever heard of HPV was when the doctors told me I had cancer. HPV is a really common virus, usually passed on through sexual contact. My cancer was staged at 4b, meaning I was diagnosed very late, meaning that the cancer had already spread to one of my ovaries. I was devastated and convinced I was going to die, yet while I was trying to process the idea of having cancer, I was trying to understand what HPV even meant. At least I had heard of cancer before.

I knew about smear tests and cell changes which can be cancerous, but beyond that I had no idea what HPV was, or meant. Immediately, I believed I was going to be judged or ridiculed, thanks to those three little letters.

Honestly, I was scared of having sex – I knew HPV could be passed through sex but didn’t really know how it all worked

I experienced that stigma first-hand, sooner than I expected. When I told my partner of my diagnosis, needing his support and love, I instead heard back: “that’s an STD. I’ve not given you that. Who gave you that?” In the back of my mind I was wondering if he had given it to me too, but the truth is I was going through the toughest time of my life… and yet my partner and I were arguing about whether one of us had cheated. That’s what HPV stigma looks like.

Neither of us could make sense of what was happening, and my condition put a huge strain on not just our relationship but our sex life. Honestly, I was scared of having sex – I knew HPV could be passed through sex but didn’t really know how it all worked. The last thing I wanted to do was put my husband at risk.

From that point – going through the hardest time of my life – instead of...

Continue reading on HuffPost