3 unravelled an entire toilet roll when I wasn’t looking so I wrapped him in it, stood him in the corner of the bathroom and told him to spin round slowly when someone needs to use it
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 20, 2020
Buy your toddler clothes with lots of snaps and buttons if you’ve ever thought it would be cool to do a puzzle that tries to kick you and run away while you solve it
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 20, 2020
5yo: Mom is 47!
Husband: She doesn’t look a day over 40.
Me: I’m 37.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 20, 2020
I have to have a zoom call with my first graders teacher because she wrote “stupid poop” in the class zoom chat today.
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) October 22, 2020
Kids really overestimate how much parents want to guess things.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 17, 2020
watching annie with the kids and now they want me to put them in an orphanage so a wealthy person can adopt them
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 17, 2020
I went through 21 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing with no drugs and nothing about that prepared me for the intensity of living with a smart-mouthed tween.
— Sarah Cottrell (@HousewifePlus) October 19, 2020
My 4 year old just counted to 20 by twos. Feeling like the best parent ever, I followed up by asking where the fuck she learned to do that because it totally wasn’t from me.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) October 18, 2020
My favorite toddler memory is when my daughter called her trail mix “nut snack”. I can still see the stunned faces of friends and family when she’d casually say things like, “I love eating nut snack,” or “mommy, taste my nut snack!”
— Rhyming Monster (@sarabellab123) October 22, 2020