The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Oct. 17-23)
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.
3 unravelled an entire toilet roll when I wasn’t looking so I wrapped him in it, stood him in the corner of the bathroom and told him to spin round slowly when someone needs to use it
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 20, 2020
Buy your toddler clothes with lots of snaps and buttons if you’ve ever thought it would be cool to do a puzzle that tries to kick you and run away while you solve it
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 20, 2020
5yo: Mom is 47!
Husband: She doesn’t look a day over 40.
Me: I’m 37.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 20, 2020
I have to have a zoom call with my first graders teacher because she wrote “stupid poop” in the class zoom chat today.
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) October 22, 2020
Kids really overestimate how much parents want to guess things.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 17, 2020
watching annie with the kids and now they want me to put them in an orphanage so a wealthy person can adopt them
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 17, 2020
I went through 21 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing with no drugs and nothing about that prepared me for the intensity of living with a smart-mouthed tween.
— Sarah Cottrell (@HousewifePlus) October 19, 2020
My 4 year old just counted to 20 by twos. Feeling like the best parent ever, I followed up by asking where the fuck she learned to do that because it totally wasn’t from me.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) October 18, 2020
My favorite toddler memory is when my daughter called her trail mix “nut snack”. I can still see the stunned faces of friends and family when she’d casually say things like, “I love eating nut snack,” or “mommy, taste my nut snack!”
— Rhyming Monster (@sarabellab123) October 22, 2020