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Parents, to their kids: Hey, you guys have to be nicer to each other.— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) May 16, 2020
Parents, to their own siblings: Hey, idiots.
It’s the last week of school and I’m proud to say my husband and I have a B- in 3rd grade math— NoTasha (@looksliketuttut) May 18, 2020
My child: I want a snack.— Jordyn Armour (@survivingmommy_) May 17, 2020
Me: Okay, just give me one minute and I will get it for you.
What my child heard: You will never eat another snack again. Commence with the screaming.
Charlie Brown's teacher,— Marlantined (@Marlebean) May 19, 2020
but it's my kid explaining Minecraft to me.
My middle schooler just remembered there is a lunch in her locker.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 18, 2020
[buying shoes for our kids]— Christopher Ashman (@CAshmanActor) May 20, 2020
her: which do you like better
me: idk probably our daughter
I really miss my son texting me from school to let me know he didn’t like what I put in his lunch.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 21, 2020
Today from 9 to 10 AM we are having an all-hands family seminar on how to replace an empty toilet paper roll.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 21, 2020
My toddler demanded shorts and now he's crying that they are broken because they don't cover his legs— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@snarkymomtobe) May 17, 2020
Have kids so that you can see your dogs running around your house wearing your only clean bras.— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) May 18, 2020
Me: Oh, I’m sorry. Is the sacrifice I made for 9 months not enough? Sharing my body and nourishing a child twice didn’t prove my level of unselfishness? Why must I constantly give and give and-
Husband: JUST LEAVE...