The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan.11-17)
Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. So, each week we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
[6 AM]
Child [coming out of bedroom]: Do you think Lightning McQueen has car insurance or life insurance?
Me [rubbing temples]: it is way too early for this— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 15, 2020
It’s amazing humans can learn something new everyday. For example, every Tuesday my husband learns our son has soccer practice at 6.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 14, 2020
75% of parenting in the winter is convincing your kids not to wear shorts
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 15, 2020
I'm no parenting expert, but I know that when you buy your child a kit that says "make your own," it's not your child who will be making their own. It's you.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 12, 2020
There is a child.
In my house.
With a fucking whistle.
Help— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 16, 2020
New parent: So you have been a parent for 4 years. Any insight?
Me: It's great. Sometimes you want to escape by faking your own death. But I'm sure it's just a phase.
New parent: Oh, ok. How long does that last?
Me: So far? 4 years.— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) January 15, 2020
It’s funny how much energy my children have until I tell them it’s time to take a bath.
— Crockett️ (@CrockettForReal) January 15, 2020
My son forgot he needed a new spiral notebook for today & is annoyed I don’t have one like, sorry our house didn’t magically transform into a Staples last night.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 16, 2020
Wife: want to have sex?
Me: oh hell yeah.
Toddler: *eye’s snapping open from a dead sleep* not on my watch.— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) January 15, 2020